"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Rotary Chicken

I am so sorry I haven't updated lately. I haven't really felt up to it, and I still kind of don't, but I'm going to suck it up and write in here anyway, of course, only about the good/funny things that happened. I am really sick and tired of dwelling on all the bad things that have been going on lately. All it makes me is stressed out and mopey and angry and a pain to be around, and that isn't fair to the people who have to see me every day. Plus, I am getting it taken care of.

Actually, it really is kind of hilarious that I am failing Comp Lit. Who does that? I mean, not that I did it of my own accord, but, as I said: I'm getting it taken care of. And, you know what else is kind of funny? I still have an Honor-Roll-GPA, even with the F. Me = Officially A Big Nerd.

Anyway. I am going to start with yesterday. Oh yesterday. Where do I begin? I will start with after school. That is the only thing I can really remember. Most of the day is a blur. Most of after school is inside jokes with Alyssa, such as "Who's your daddy?" and "Heil!" Don't even go there. Trust me. You don't want to.

Anyone who put up with me then, you guys get snaps forever.

Tiffany: You should write about me on your blog. You should write that in theology class today, I said that the people who sin the most are the most popular.

Today was better, sort of. My morning was kind of dreadful because caffeine was in desperate need and the Commons no longer brews coffee in the morntime. I mean, yes, it tasted like tar drained through an ashtray, but it was cheap. And, although I have no standards when it comes to the good/badness of coffee, I do have cappuccino standards, and Commons cappuccinos are definitely not up to par. So braving the first few hours of this morning sans caffeine? Not a good time. But history class quite cheered me up (are you surprised?).

Mrs. Campbell, talking about chewing tobacco for no apparent reason: Yeah, when I was in high school, chewing tobacco wasn't really a bad thing to do at all. Everyone did it. Or at least all the guys did. Especially the hockey guys. They would chew during class.
Mark: What if they got caught?
Mrs. Campbell: They would swallow it, I guess. [Whole class either is shocked or nauseated.] I don't really know. Maybe they wouldn't. That's actually really disgusting.

Mrs. Campbell, reading out loud to us: "The state of Vir-john-ia." [Whole class cracks up.] Oh my god. What was that? I would really love to tell you what words I was mashing up but I have no idea. I mean, no one named John is anywhere in this paragraph. That was just stupid.

English class is ridiculous. I think all we ever do is harass each other.

Stary: You never really know how dysfunctional your family is until someone else points it out. And even then, it doesn't really seem all that weird to you.

Chelsea: I have the good and the bad and it all just combines to form one big Chelsea!
Stary: That was an unfortunate choice of word.
[Chelsea pouts and pretends to be depressed.]
Chelsea: I hate you!!
Me: Oh, don't worry, Chels. I will just go up to Dr. Schmitt and say, "Dr. Schmitt... Mr. Stary hit me."
Stary: Ohhhh, yeah. And then you can have Pease as a replacement!

Molly: Appealing? So it's like court? Oh my god... can I come watch? That is going to be hilarious.

Stary, talking about Instant Messages: That was definitely an L-O-L. Actually... it was more of a C-O-L. Chuckle out loud.

French is so exciting. We got to do anonymous performance evaluations of Madmichelle.

Madame: These are all anonymous, so I won't know who wrote them. [Reads one.] Oh. This one is Kellie's.
Me: How did you know that?! What happened to anonymity?!
Madame: The language. I mean, "mnemonic devices?" Come on, Kellie. It had to be you.

Then we talked about old-fashioned phones.

Brianna: Oh, what were they called... those spinny phones.
Me: Wait-- I know what it's called. A rotary phone, right?
Madame: Yes.
Chelsea: Ohhhh! Like a rotary chicken!
[A few people laughs, and Madame about dies to the point where she is the same color as her pink sweater and crying with laughter.]
Me: Rotisserie, Chelsea?
Chelsea: Oh... yeah.

Let's see. The rest is not really worth talking about. So. Tomorrow will be better! Good news.


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