"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

11.08.2005

"My plant, my plant, my plant is on fire!"

This morning, I had a dental appointment and so I didn't arrive to school until halfway through second hour. I reported to the main office with my much-necessary appointment verification in hand, and when I got to the main office, it was quite the party. Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Campbell, Mr. Brooker, and my favorite male senior Mike were there and they pretty much all started speaking to me at once.

Mrs. Smith: Where were you? Were you skipping study hall, or did you just get to school now?!
Me: I had a dentist appointment!
Mrs. Campbell: Ooooh! Do your teeth feel all clean?
Me: Yes.
Mrs. Brown: Oh, Kellie, your freshman ID is on my desk. I don't know why, but it is.
Me, laughing: Oh. Okay.
[Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Smith leave.]
Me: It smells like something is burning. Do you guys smell that? That burnt-things smell?
Mrs. Campbell: That is what I said! Hey, Mr. Brooker, maybe your plant is on fire in your office.
Mr. Brooker, singing as he walks away: My plant, my plant, my plant is on fire!
[Mike and I look at each other and just laugh.]
Mike: Wow... that pretty much completed my life.

Anyway. Bio was insane. Even though I was twenty minutes late and therefore technically absent, Mrs. Mayer made me take the test. Which I had not studied for because I knew I would be technically-absent from class and would just take Wednesday or Thursday during study hall. But no. She made me take it. I was so confused by this sudden burst of hardassness.

Geo/Trig was pretty exciting because both Mr. H and Kathleen are pretty much completely ADD.

Mr. H: I am a little ADD today.
Kathleen: Oh my god! So am I!
Mr. H: I didn't say "a lot ADD", Kathleen.
Kathleen: Ohhhh! Burn!
Mr. H: Burrrrrn burrrrn burrrrrrn!! [Long pause.] Burrrrrn!

History was actually almost sane for, like, five minutes. Well, not really. But we were sanely doing a very sane assignment. Basically, we are having a quiz on the Amendments next Monday, and we get a cheat sheet... but we can't have any words. So we basically have to draw the Amendments.

Erik: Why are you even giving us this assignment?
Mrs. Campbell: Well... I really like to just look at them and laugh.

So, we were all innocently just drawing our Amendments, and after Alyssa being unable to read and me thinking that hands had four fingers, Jacob decided he hadn't gotten attention for a while. So he freaked out. This was probably just as much a freakout as yesterday.

Actually, first he showed us the referral he got from Tan Pants. And you know what it says on it? "Making orgasm noises." Jacob gets the most weird referrals, believe you me. But back to his freak-out.

Jacob: You asked two girls yesterday if they thought I was crazy!
Mrs. Campbell: Jacob, you hit me. You hit me with a nail file.

Jacob: THAT'S IT! I'M DONE WITH THIS SCHOOL! I'M DROPPING OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AND GOING TO BEAUTY SCHOOL!
[Jacob walks out of the room and no one even notices. Mrs. Campbell picks up the phone.]
Mrs. Campbell: I just wanted you to know that Jacob just left my classroom. So he's, um, on the loose. [Hangs up.]

Theology was ridiculous. I think we start talking about sex tomorrow. Specifically, sex positions... oh dear god. I just have one question: if the Pope and all our church leaders are celibate, why does he get to decide all these sexual things?! I'm not implying anything, I'm just saying, what do they know? Seriously.

Lunch is demented. Most ridiculous, disgusting, disturbing conversation of my life, for sure. I am not even talking about it. Probably ever. But now that I think about it, it really was hilarious. Oh, as was getting "beaten up" and harassed by Jacob... oh god, can we say "emotional instability."

I love English. Today we had the WKCE writing test. Which had the stupidest topic ever. They could at least make the writing portion fun for, you know, a few people. And Stary makes me laugh. And he had some very funny comments about the censorship of the play, which I'm not writing because I'm never quite sure who all reads this.

Gavin: Do I really have to do this?
Stary: Well, you could just close your book and not write a thing, but I would think much less of you as a man.

In French we discussed new uniforms and the riots in Paris. Comp Lit was more of the usual, and after school was really fun. Alex and I stayed after and helped Mrs. Brown with Mr. NDA and Fall Fest stuff. I made a really pretty poster. It is on the Commons doors that lead to the auditorium, and it is actually really nice. You might not believe I made it, but I did.

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