"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

10.25.2005

"Then she developed this bizarre affection for... plastic."

I love life. Today was seriously psychotic. It all began before school in the Commons with two of my absolute favorites ever, Alex and Pencil Case. They had to read Fall of the House of Usher for their own crazy English class, and they were not happy, let me tell you.

Alex: So, the guy had an, um, mental disorder?
Pencil Case, in a ridiculous voice: We call that retarded nowadays.

Pencil Case, reciting the opening lines of the Madeline books: And the youngest of these girls was named... [makes a ridiculous face and belts this:] Maaaaaaaadeliiiiiiiine!

Joe: Hi, Pencil Case.
Pencil Case: Yo.
Joe: Um... no. We do not do that. We do not say "yo," we do not say "sup," we do not say "fo' tizzle my nizzle."

Yes. Fo' tizzle... don't even ask me.

Study hall was the usual. The people in that study hall are absolutely crazy. As are the people in my biology class. All that class consists of is back-sassing, and it definitely does not consist of listening. For all of us. And Geo/Trig today was mainly Mr. H making crazy and obscene noises and also pretending to be emo. Really, everything in the morning would seem so much funnier, but I don't think it is any secret to any of you what I shall talk about next.

History. Okay. That class is amazing. We get a lesson, which is usually pretty fun, and then just spend the rest of class talking and telling ridiculous and obscene stories, which is even more fun.

Mrs. Campbell: I have perfect vision during the day, except for reading. If I read without my glasses, I get nauseous and throw up. But I have awful night-vision. You know, you never really know how well you see because you don't know how well other people see... yes, you guys, these are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. [We laugh.] But, seriously, don't ever drive in a car with me at night. One night, I was driving, and I said to my husband, "You know, I don't really think I see very well." Which is not a good thing to say to someone when you are driving.

Erik: How are your frogs?
Mrs. Campbell, after a long pause: They all died. Not all at once, but one right after the other.
Jacob: Are your kids sad about it?
Mrs. Campbell: No, not really. They know that we will buy them new ones, so they just fight over who gets to flush it... I'm not really sure what that's about, but they seriously argue. "You don't get to flush it! I do! You did it last time!"
Jacob: That is pretty strange.
Mrs. Campbell: Well, I think Olivia cried once. But then I said, "Well, you can flush it." And she got all happy and said, "OKAY!!"

Jacob: I think that there are opinions that we all agree upon. Like, okay... let's agree that all those pictures on the far board are good but obviously made by children.
Mrs. Campbell: Um, call me a mean mom, but some of those aren't very good at all. I mean, look at that one [points to one.] What is up with that neck?!
Anna: What is the one on the far left?
Mrs. Campbell: Oh... that is our fish tank. It is actually pretty good if you have ever seen our fish tank. I mean, it has the little filter and there is the tiger toy at the bottom, because we always let the kids pick a McDonalds' toy to put there.
Me, laughing: Okay, why exactly do you do that?
Mrs. Campbell: Because we are way too cheap to buy them real fish tank toys.

Then we started talking about children raised in isolation and how they are even more messed up than, well, even more messed up than the people in that class.

Mrs. Campbell: There was this one girl, and she was locked in a room all the time and her dad wouldn't talk to her, he would just bark at her. And all she ever got to play with was, like, Tupperware and shower curtains. So then she developed this bizarre affection for... plastic. Once, they took her out in public and she saw a man in a raincoat and she went up to him and attached herself to him. That was all thanks to that whole shower-curtain-thingamawhatzit.

We also got two in-class worksheets.

Caitlin: You like worksheets.
Mrs. Campbell: No, I just hate trees.

That class is so ridiculous. Oh, and according to Mrs. Campbell, she and I are "twins... or sisters... brothas from anotha motha... only we are sisters from anotha motha." Okay then.

Theology was actually not so bad today because we didn't really do much. Lunch is always fun. Alex wasn't there, though. She had an appointment. And she got her back brace back on... but it is only a temporary thing before they figure out what is actually going on. Hopefully. So that cut down on our fun a little bit.

English is ridiculous.

Stary: Yes, Kellie, thank you for only writing the things on your blog that will get me in trouble.

We then discussed torture methods in great detail, which is always exciting. Haha and Caitlin drew me a cartoon of me tormenting people with Barney tapes... she is one of my all-time favorites ever. We love our demented bus conversations, especially in the mornings when we are half-awake and even more crazy than when we're fully awake.

French is sooooo obscene. That class very much aggravated me today. But... three more Mademichelle lessons. Only three. I cannot wait until we get a certain crazy individual named Madame back to teach us. And here is why.

Pencil Case: Do you think in English?
Madame: No.
Pencil Case: What language do you think in, then?
Madame: Swahili.

Madame: Then I will hang it up and cover up the senior pictures. The beautiful people... The young and the restless.

Yes. Next week, that class is going to be 800000x more fun. I miss the good old days when Mademichelle just sat in the back of the room, cowering in fear at the thought of actually having to teach our merry band of infidels.

The bell once again completely undermined Pease's authority today during Comp Lit. Which is probably the only interesting thing that will ever happen in that class ever.

1 Comments:

Blogger Pencil Case babbled mindlessly...

Haha!

When Madame was talking about covering the pictures, I started to sing "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. Oh, her.

I think the bell should take over the job of teaching us Excell and PowerPoint.

-Benji

9:25 PM

 

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