"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


"Teletubbies costumes? Seriously? What size are those bad boys?"

Today was pretty boring. Classes were shortened, because we had mass. Led by Fr. Larry. Oh. Dear. Lord. His homilies are enough to send me over the edge. And it isn't that there are a lot of words. It is the long, elaborate pause/breaths he takes every three words. First, though, Pencil Case and Chelsea fought to have the aisle seat across from me.

Pencil Case: Ha ha! I got it!
Chelsea: You just want to sit by Kellie!
Pencil Case: So do you.

Yes. I love it when my friends fight over me. It makes me feel loved.

Chelsea: He needs to cut down on the Hostess snack cakes.

Geo/Trig was pretty exciting. I did a problem up on the board and knew I got it right and didn't feel stupid, which made me happy, because, well, needless to say, that clearly would not have been the case last year. Thank god for math that actually makes sense.

History was review game and I yet again got to be scorekeeper. Which is insane. Anna cracks me up. "IT'S NOT OPEN!" And I love how that class manages to turn into a sing-a-long just about every other day.

Mark: So, were you at The Party?
Mrs. Campbell, sarcastically: Oh, definitely. When the cops came, I hid in the closet. Then I snuck out and jumped out the second story window. Then I hid in the woods for three hours. And I got busted on my way home.
Mark: That's cool. Was Mr. Brooker there?
Mrs. Campbell: Of course. He and I went together. Duh.

Lunch was, um, interesting.

Vicky: I got a job offer from Target. So I have to go pee in a cup for them to prove I'm worthy.
Alex: Well... it's a good thing I know you're talking about a drug test.

We got new seats in English. Although I am very sad not to sit in the back corner by Erik and Chelsea anymore, I now sit by Alyssa, Krista, and many other still fun people. Although I sit in the front row. Hmm. Oh well.

French was exciting. Pencil Case made Mademichelle very angry, and Madame was quite angry with Katia, her daughter. See, Madame made her a gorgeous and very elaborate Halloween costume and she was very proud of it.

Madame: You know how much work I put into that costume, right?
Me: Of course! It was beautiful! Did Katia like it?
Madame: Yes. But she liked her ninety-nine-cent shoes more. I am so unhappy with her right now, Kellie.

Then the Golden Apple people came in. I think they were kind of afraid of our class, and with good reason. Then Mademichelle got extremely furious with Pencil Case, who was making throaty "rrrr" noises and fighting with her, and sent him to solitary confinement in a desk that he dubbed Siberia. Madame, ever the bearer of hard-core punishment, tried to reprimand him, too, but just ended up laughing and then needed to know my opinion on which color she should buy a skirt in. Oh man. Anyway. 7 Mademichelle lessons to go.

Comp Lit was pretty much the same. The most annoying freshman ever resides in that class. Some day, that child is going to get his ass kicked, and all I am going to do is laugh. I will not have one iota of sympathy, because, if anyone deserves to get his ass kicked, it is that kid.

After school, I had the Fall Fest planning meeting. Some of my favorite people are at those meetings. Today, it was Alex, Chelsea, Elizabeth, Mrs. Campbell, Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Smith, Frau, Erin, and Nikki, who was the only senior since all the other ones left. It was pretty exciting. People in those meetings say the most random things.

First, all the wax paper got stuck to Chelsea's caramel apple. And she was eating it anyway. This really worried me, so I tried to pull off the wax paper, but instead, the whole apple came off the popsicle stick. That was really entertaining, and you kind of had to be there.

There were also our highly random conversations, when we weren't discussing top-secret Fall Fest week plans. Oh, and Charlie called Frau's cell phone, like, eight times.

Mrs. Brown: We should make those big cut-outs. Like that one of you, from your modeling career.
Mrs. Campbell, very quietly: Shhhhhut up.
Everyone: Um, what is this now?
Mrs. Brown: What was the ad for? ShopKo?
Mrs. Campbell: Yes, it was ShopKo. And it was me, and my kid, and it was the most ridiculous picture ever taken of me. I look so ridiculous. My eyes were closed, just like they are in, oh, every picture, but this one was the worst. Because they weren't closed all the way. I looked drugged. I looked like a drugged ShopKo mom.

Me, grabbing water bottles: Would anyone else like one?
Chelsea: I would!
Mrs. Campbell: Could you get one for me, too, please?
[Me, pantomiming throwing it at her.]
Mrs. Campbell: Please don't throw it at me! I'm on drugs, remember?!

Chelsea: I would do that.
Mrs. Smith: Well, Chelsea... you are a very. Um. Special sort of person.

Mrs. Campbell: I was thinking about that during church.
Me, laughing: Way to set an example.
Mrs. Campbell: Whilllle I was praying.

Mrs. Brown: I had no idea what was going on in that article. The language was a little difficult.
Nikki: You're an English teacher.

Anyway. Bloomy came to visit us for a while, skipping out on his real meeting all because he wanted a brownie. What a fun guy. We told karaoke stories, and then Mrs. Campbell and I had another of our random conversations, this time about Teletubby costumes, because, yes, I do in fact own them. Then Charlie called Frau again. Then Elizabeth had to leave, then Chelsea did. Then the meeting was over, after a lot of time talking about things that had absolutely zero to do with Fall Fest, and I went to see Pencil Case at play practice.

Well, first of all, practice got out early, which was nice because Pencil Case and I had to go hunt for the perfect tie. And, while we were shopping, he did indeed find it. But not after a crazy car ride with his mother, Mary.

Me: Why is your name and phone number on the ice scraper, Mary?
Mary: That was Pencil Case's idea when he was little. Don't ask me.

Anyway. After finding the perfect yuppie tie and an amazing yuppie sweater, we went to the food court and ate some pretzels from Auntie Anne's and discovered that the cheese sauce there has anchovies as one of its ingredients.

On the way home, we stopped at Krispy Kreme, after I un-child locked the car doors. Pencil Case was going to order Mary the wrong doughnut, since she sent us in to get some. But then I reminded him that it was custard.

Mary: It better be custard. It better not be that gross white cream.
Pencil Case: I would never order you the wrong thing!
Me: Only because I reminded you.
Mary: Did you get napkins?
Pencil Case: ...No.
Me: I remembered them.
Mary: See, Pencil Case? Women remember these things. Kellie is good at this, you are not.


Blogger Wolfae babbled mindlessly...

Fr. Larry...gosh, I know...

Ben dubbed his "punishment desk" Siberia? What will he think of next?!? Hee.

8:07 AM


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