"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Now With 100% Less Braces.

Wow. Today was a highly enjoyable day. For all those of you who have braces: getting them off = lots of fun and lots of compliments. And your teeth feel all shiny and your gums feel gigantic and, for a while, you feel like you just have the hugest teeth in the world even though you actually do not.

Anyway. My Bio lab partners = extremely entertaining.

Chloe: I love your teeth... oh my god. That sounded really stupid, didn't it?

Chloe, looking into the microscope: WOW!
Polly: What? Was it moving?
Chloe: No! But I can see it!

Anyway. I love Geo/Trig. Mr. Havlichek and Kathleen are fascinated by my sneezing. Apparently they are going to do a study on me all year to see if I ever sneeze less than three times. Okay then. And there were, ahem, rather interesting things to be seen that I am not putting here.

History class, as usual, takes the cake.

Mrs. Campbell: Wait, Kellie-- there's something different about you.
Me: Yes?
Mrs. Campbell, thinking: Did you have braces?
Me: Yes.
Mrs. Campbell: Did you have braces yesterday?
Me: Yes.
Mrs. Campbell: Oh my god! I have never ever gotten it on the first day before. Usually I ask kids if they got their braces taken off and they are like, "Yeah... two months ago."

Jessi: Yeah... apparently we can't wear turtleneck sweaters anymore. I got a detention for one! Detention! For a turtleneck!
Mrs. Campbell: Well, technically, it wouldn't be against Dress Code if you wore it with a polo underneath and stuck the little lapels out of your turtleneck. You would just look like a huge nerd.
Anna: I'll do that!
Me: I'll pay you to do that just so I can laugh.
Anna: Okay!

(Anna will do anything if you pay her. No, seriously. She drank this gross flour-y water once because Frau gave her a dollar. A wholllle dollar. Imagine that.)

Anyway. We then watched this obscene movie that all the other history classes watched. It was a bunch of random celebrities reading the Declaration of Independence including Winona Ryder, who does not blink, and Whoopi Goldberg, who has no eyebrows.

Mrs. Campbell: There are a lot of people in this movie, like Mel Gibson and the Chinese lady from ER and Winona Ryder before she stole all those clothes and Renee Zellweger.
Anna: Is Renee Zellweger going to be squinty?
Mrs. Campbell: Is she ever not squinty? I swear, her face is always, like, stretched back. [Demonstrates Renee's face by pulling her skin back, squinting, and trying to smile.]

Alyssa, upon seeing "P.O.W.'s" on the board: Pow! Pow! Pow!

Yes. I love that class so much. We actually do accomplish things sometimes. I swear.

Theology was just more talk of the Posse, and Alex had "Parkinson's" during lunch. Anyway. There was no calling myself derogatory names in front of our beloved associate principal today, so that was an improvement.

Stary had some rather humorous stories to tell us during English.

George: How do you become a fencing master?
Stary: Well... you have to go through this training program and then a bunch of other masters decide whether or not you are worthy. (Molly and I crack up, thinking of the nerdiness of this.) Oh, be quiet.

Stary: I took ballroom dancing in college. So did my friend Matt. He had a teacher named Vivian who was a man.

Then there were dorky hand gestures that were supposed to demonstrate sailing and the words "hard crunchy bits" were used way too much. Oh and the word "secrete" apparently makes me laugh. That is something I did not know about myself.

You know what I do not like? When Madame abandons us with Mademoiselle for an entire French lesson. Especially when I have things to tell her. Oh well. She ended up seeing my lovely chompers after school anyway when I ran into her and declared that I am now "her little Kellinka all grown up." Ohhhhkay G-Funk.

Well, I guess something did happen. Pencil Case started singing "America" from West Side Story and this deeply aggravated Mademoiselle. Then he made it into the "Gender Song", which made me laugh.

Chelsea, just babbling and making randomness: They are totally going to have sex. Actually, they've already had sex, like, five times. [Long pause.] They told me.

Comp Lit is completely and totally ridiculous. At least we got to listen to Death Cab (ohhhhyes!), but I have to say that being called "a good girl" seriously makes me want to go on a rampage and flip the bird. And I wish I could sit next to Pencil Case in that class.

What a day, what a day.