"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


"I don't think Jesus would say that."

Anyway. Right now I am at the lovely Chellie's house. And then we are going to her voice lesson. Yay for missing the bus and Chelsea being there! And for getting paged!

So. I heart my study hall.

Jacob, at the end of prayer: OH MY GOD!!!!!
Mrs. Smith: What what what?
Jacob: I told Mrs. Hall I would do prayer today! Well, actually, I was supposed to do it on Monday but I forgot. Oh my god, Kellie, how mad is she going to be at me?
Me, quoting the conversation between Jacob and Mrs. Hall which occured Monday during history class when Mrs. Hall came to yell at Jacob: "No, Mrs. Hall! I'll do it on Wednesday! I promise! Please don't hate me!"

So Jacob was freaking out and spasming all of study hall. And to the best of our knowledge Mrs. Hall has apparently forgotten about it, too, thankfully.

Anyway. Geo/Trig was pretty fun today. I love those SOHCAHTOA trig functions, seriously. And Erik's notebook.

Erik writes: These are not boobs. They are circles with radii.
Mr. H writes: Excellent point!!

Yes. Then there was history. First, Mrs. Campbell started singing the worksheet song. Well, that was enjoyable. It was kind of like the "You're my dad! And I loooove you!" song from my all-time favorite holiday film Elf. Then we started talking about beating people up, justly.

Mrs. Campbell: Well, beating someone up for no good reason probably isn't a good thing.
Erik: Is there ever a good reason to beat someone up?
Mrs. Campbell: If they hit you first!!
Jacob, fake sternly: I don't think that's what Jesus would say.
Mrs. Campbell: Well, okay. If someone is beating up someone you care about, you should beat them up! If someone beat up one of my children, I'd beat them up!
[Whole class laughs.]
Allison: I can't picture you beating someone up.
Mrs. Campbell: I would, though! I'm scrappy!

Also, Erik had never heard the expression "don't beat a dead horse." I think that phrase is said about eight times a minute by my mother. Just an approximation. Then this very bitter and sarcastic conversation took place during worksheet time:

Mrs. Campbell: What did you do for service day?
Me: I cut paper for three whole hours. With Mrs. Pease.
Mrs. Campbell: That's pretty unfortunate. Three hours? With scissors?
Me: Yes! And part of the time, they were kid's scissors! What did you do?
Mrs. Campbell: I went to Holy Family. My kids got in trouble for yelling "MOM!" at me in the hallway. Then I ate some chicken nuggets in the cafeteria and a bunch of kids asked me to give their older siblings more detentions.
Me: Well, that sounds slightly more exciting.
Mrs. Campbell: Yes. The chicken nuggets were especially thrilling.

Anyway. Then there were yet again pen fights between Erik and me. Which I won by drawing blood. Ohhhh violence. It sure does solve everything.

Let's see. The rest of the day was not so exciting until English. We yet again talked about DEATH VISION. And death. And funerals. And suicide. And loss. What a depressing class. Also, the room smelled horrible and sweaty the whole time. Stupid fifth-hour study hall kids probably stank up the place.

Anyway. I heart French. What a hilarious class. Oooooh megaphone! Enflamed rib cage joint!

Madame: Look, Kellie. Pencil Case gave me a flower.
Me: Oh, that's nice.
Madame: That's what I said. I said, "Oh, that's very sweet, did you find it in the garbage?"

Comp Lit was all Mrs. Pease talking about "old-fashioned Bibles" or something. Then I was supposed to re-type some schtuff for French but I did all the wrong chapter seven exercises for Comp Lit, so I didn't have any time to. Oops. Then I went to talk to Madame and we had a big deep conversation that made me miss my bus but it was quite funny.

Anyway. Chelsea could offer me a ride, but she had a meeting and then voice. So during the meeting, I did my favorite hobby of meandering around the school after-hours. You run into some pretty crazy things. Like Vicky. And Blaney, who wanted to know if I had an A in history this year. Not even a "how are you?" just an "are you getting an A okay good bye!". He is indeed goofy. Then I got paged and we went off to voice lessons. I love Connie especially because she didn't make me sing this time. Also, she had some pretty crazy things to say.

"You can't just go bangity-bang on the keys."

"I know it's very tempting, but you can't just WHAM WHAM WHAM your way through the song."

Also, I love car rides with Chelsea and her mom.

Mary, while Chelsea is singing like Liza Minelli: Call me Mary, Kellie.
Me: Wait-- what am I supposed to call you?
Mary: Well, you could call me Bitch but that wouldn't be very nice.

The car ride was just full of swear words, especially when we spent about ten minutes discussing "bastard" and our many variations of it.

In other news. My grandmother cracks me up and so does her Cold War food-stocked bomb shelter of a basement.

Vater: Why isn't the sensor light on?
Grandma: It's those rabbits. They run back and forth and they wear the light out. I'm not leaving it on until they hibernate!

Vater: Why are there ten bottles of apple juice here?
Grandma: They were a dollar a piece!
Me: Who drinks apple juice?
Grandma: Me, every once in a while.
Me: Oh, ten bottles was definitely practical, then.


Blogger Pencil Case babbled mindlessly...

Kellinka, seriously, who does buy TEN things of apple juice? That is rediculous.

Guess who I am.

[In a very PO'ed voice] You guys are RETARDED! It isn't that hard to guess what I am stying to say! It is a bike with training wheels!

Oh, Taboo. Hehe... Taboohoo, for Alex.


9:56 AM


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