"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


English class means talking about breasts.

Today was not that bad for a Monday. I love my study hall. Jacob has to be the nicest person ever. I love talking to him.

Jacob: Kellie, your costume was amazing!! Seriously. You look so much like her. I've never noticed it before, but you do.
Me, rolling my eyes: I have heard that, like, seven times already today.
Jacob: But it's true! And it's a compliment!

Awww. Thank you, Jacob.

Anyway. During Bio I got my note saying that I made "house crew" for fall play. Which is just a super-fancy way of saying "usher." I don't really care what I'm doing, so long as I get to go to the cast parties.

History class is amazing. It is really just story time with my twin Mrs. Campbell.

Mrs. Campbell: Our neighbors moved across the street and so their property taxes went up $4,000.
Anna: Why would you move across the street? That is pointless.
Mrs. Campbell: Well. She wanted a mudroom... I don't really know what the whole thing was about. Maybe her kids are really messy or something. [Anna and I crack up.] But now they are not in the ghetto part of our neighborhood, where I live. They are in the nice part.

Mrs. Campbell, after a long story about taxes: Why am I even telling you guys about this? Seriously. I don't even do my own taxes. I don't know anything about taxes. I have to take care of a million more things, I don't want to fill out forms. I'm just the dumb wife. I let my husband do those things.

Mrs. Campbell: NATO was a group of people who hated Communism. [A bunch of us crack up.] Well, it was!

Mrs. Campbell: We pay education taxes because, well, basically, if only the people who had kids in school paid school taxes, everyone would be paying tuition. And we can't do that... We'd have a lot of really dumb people running around if we did.

Theology is just ridiculous and so is lunch. However, during theology, I did get to look at super-cute pictures from the dance that I will be stealing as soon as possible.

English is psychotic. Today, Stary came in clutching fresh-off-the-copier sheets to himself because that is his new hobby. Then he called me a "pregnant crack ho" (in jest, in jest... it's a long story and involves Chelsea making up songs, which is never pleasant to think about.) And then he said the word "breasts" way too many times for comfort.

Chelsea: Stop talking about boobs, Mr. Stary.

Chelsea's dirty mood continued on into French class, where we learned the imperatif.

Mademichelle: Imperatif is commands. Can anyone think of a command?
Pencil Case, blurting: Feed the dog!
Me: Raise your hand!
Mike: Haaaa. That was a good one.
Chelsea: Oh! I have one! "Spank me!"
Mademichelle: ...No.

Pencil Case: Well, what if someone was like, "'Close the door,' said Martin, 'The lions are coming!'"

Anyway. Chelsea also got yelled at for making faces at me... wtf. Four more Mademichelle lessons, though!

Comp Lit was the usual madness. That class is almost half over... woohoo. That is exciting news. Anyway, a few minutes before the bell rang, we were all just standing around and talking.

Mrs. Pease: KIDS! Sit down until the bell rings!
[Bell rings, totally undermining Mrs. Pease's authority, and Pencil Case and I crack up.]

After Comp Lit, Pencil Case had to pick up a posterboard from Mrs. Brown and so he made me come with so we could look at pictures of ourselves. Okeydokey. I love the horrible comments Mrs. Brown makes sometimes.

Anyway. Today was very, very not bad for a Monday.


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