"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


"Um. What was that?"

Last night, Pencil Case and I held a very pointless French Club event of our own. Meaning that, during Meet-the-Teacher night, since there was no bake sale, we sat in the Commons in our berets with our highly outdated French Club poster and pamphlets, and talked to Brooker and all of two parents. Yeah, lots of advertising going on there. Not.

Well, I got there, and I went up to the French room, also known as "the Sauna", to get the poster, berets, and pamphlets.

Madame, to our student teacher: Now, look at this. Who would not want Kellie as a secretary? Kellie, even if you do not get to be French Club secretary, you will still get to be my personal secretary.
Me, sarcastically: Oh, thanks.

Then Madame was showing us this crazy book-like thing she bought. Basically, it is a bunch of "funny" (her word, everyone else's word has been "creepy") pictures of animals. And they have the eyes cut out, and there are these big plastic googly eyes on the last page of the book, so they all share one set of googly plastic eyes. Quite frankly, it makes me very nervous, but Madame just loves it.

Madame, to Frau: Isn't it cute?
Frau: No, it's not. Not at all. It's creepy, and, quite honestly, I'm going to have uncomfortable dreams about it tonight.

Yes, Frau pretty much hit the nail right over the head with that one. But then it was time to go with Pencil Case to set up in the Commons. Shortly after, Brooker comes up to us and makes what he thinks is a French noise, but is actually just a series of very strange nasally I-don't-even-know-how-to-describe-thems. Pencil Case and I cracked up.

Pencil Case: Um. What was that?
Brooker: I was being French.

Okay then. So, for a good two hours, we sat around and were bored to death. Pencil Case thought he was undergoing cardiac arrest but really probably was just having acid reflux. Then Meet-the-Teacher night was over, so we had to de-set up our lovely poster and pamphlets. It was all, I can assure you, very exciting. In the hallway, Charlie was running around in Frau's red poncho.

Charlie: Wheeeee! Don't I look fahhhhhhhhhhbulous?
Frau: No. You look like a fruitcake.

Then we ran around for a bit and talked to Jacob.

Jacob: Let's go bug Celine.
Pencil Case and me: We should.
Me: Where is she?
Jacob: She's coming through the Commons. But don't look at her, because, you know, she thinks I'm stalking her.
Me: No, Jacob. She doesn't think you're stalking her. Everyone else does.
Jacob: Stalking... that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

So, of course, "Celine" came by and we ended up talking to her anyway, even though Jacob is "mad" at her about the "stalking" thing. He really just wanted her to buy some Seroogy's bars. Which she did not.

Then we went home and my father told Pencil Case and me stories about how he talked to Mrs. Carrots after class about my typing. Gee, thanks, Dad. I'm sure that was really necessary. Anyway, Pencil Case, at this point, still thought he was suffering from cardiac arrest. Which he was not.

This morning has already been pretty exciting. Evil plans, and of course the bus. Apparently my little bus stop hut is a hip place for old-lady smokers. Because, I'm just waiting ever so innocently, and she just comes and smokes a cigarette in there. Uhhh, what? I thought about telling her, "I'm an asthmatic", even though I'm not, just so she'd feel bad about her secondhand-smoking. But no. So then I got to school and had to borrow Bet, the lifesaver's, pretty spray to put in my hair, because I don't feel like I need any questions like, "Why does your hair smell like smoke?"

Oh, don't you just love cold and flu season?


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