"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

9.01.2005

A Shameless Plea

Please, please, please come to the French Club meeting next Thursday at 7:30 and vote for me for secretary. Please. I will buy you something. You will win my affections. I don't care if you take French or not, just come and vote for me and eat some donuts. It will be fun. I promise that I'm an excellent person for the job, what with my somewhat psychotic note-taking and list-making skills.

So. Anyway. Today was exciting. We talked about the pox in history class. I love that we spend about 80% of that class off the topic and still learn about a million things.

"P-O-X-S. No, wait. That really doesn't look right."

"What's the mumps? I don't even know what mumps are."
"It's that thing you always see on cartoons when they have that scarf on their head."
"Oh, that's right."

"You know, it's really kind of funny... well, maybe I'm just morbid. But I think it's kind of funny that apparently the terrorists are going to come on the subway with smallpox in a bottle and spray it at us and how we're all out of vaccination and how they're going to do all that biochemicalterrorism with it."
"Why are they called smallpox?"
"Because they're small. Actually... no. They're kind of big. They're bigger than chicken pox."
"OH MY GOD CHICKEN POX!"
"Why are they called chicken pox?"
"Um. Because they make your skin look like chicken."
"Really?"
"No. But I remember having the chicken pox! I remember that my mom seriously rubbed my brother against me when I had them so that he'd get them, too, because it would have taken, like, a year to go through our household. And we'd all line up every night to get that horrible pink lotion."
"Chicken pox are the best."
"Yeah, my kids never got the chicken pox though."
"What?!"
"They didn't. They got vaccinated. I didn't think it was necessary, but the doctor said, 'NO! THEY HAVE TO!' because apparently-- I never knew this-- chicken pox are deadly."
"YOUR CHILDREN NEVER HAD THE CHICKEN POX?!"
"No."
"THAT'S SUCH A PART OF CHILDHOOD, THOUGH. YOUR CHILDREN WERE NEVER CHILDREN!"
"Jacob. Shhhh. Wouldn't it be kind of funny if the terrorists, a long time from now, sprayed chicken pox at people on the subways?"

Yes. English is also mostly spent off the topic, too.

Me: That would be the crappiest Choose Your Own Adventure Book ever.

Molly: Do you remember those Animorphs books?!?!?!

French is such a non-class it's not even funny.

Chelsea: If you cheat, you die.
Madame: No, you don't. You just burn in hell forever.

And Comp Lit was just Pencil Case and I laughing at that stupid video.

Me: The lady in the video is an illegal immigrant.
Pencil Case: From Mexico... oh, wait. She's Chinese.

[Little men in white jumpsuits with math symbols on their shirts are demonstrating what happens inside a computer.]
Me, sarcastically: It really looks like that, too.
Pencil Case, in seriousness: Really? It does?

Pencil Case: Compy Tahhhhhtsie.
Me: Tahhhhhtsie? Are you from Boston?
Pencil Case Um. Yes.

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