"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


I have a carrot stuck in my throat.

What a day. Guess who is the new French Club secretary? Moi! I am elated. So happy.

Today in history, we played Jeopardy for review for our test.

Erik: I am so good at review games. So good. Like, seriously, I always win. I'm so good. No one ever beats me.

Oh, really, Erik? No one ever beats you? Because I think I kind of smoked your ass today, on every single question.

Mrs. Campbell, out of nowhere: I have a carrot stuck in my throat.

Oh. P.S. Mrs. Campbell and I have the same pants and shoes. That was a little scary.

Speaking of clothes... Pencil Case wants me to mention that he has "homosexual shocks." By which he means "socks." They are incredibly gay. I love them. But he is not nearly as gay as his socks. He's not a gay retard silly man. Just a retard silly man.

Today in English, Stary was ridiculous.

Stary: You need to think of the Declaration of Independance as a breakup note. Like, "Dear King George, I think we need to see other countries. Love, Thomas Jefferson."

Then we started talking about how the royal family of every country is pretty much completely inbred.

Stary: That's why Prince Charles has such big ears.

Me: Prince Alexei was a hemophiliac. The Bolsheviks just came in the cellar and were like, bang bang, "Bye, little boy, you weren't very hard to kill!" (Long pause.) Oh God. I am such a morbid person.

Stary: Imagine that Thanksgiving dinner. "If you don't shut up, I'm going to place my troops on the Western Front!"

Then he wrote "wtf?" on the board. Seriously.

Now Pencil Case is reading over my shoulder and we are in French class. Madame is saying crazy things, such as, "You lost me on hello." I'm so glad that she knows all the wrong lines to Jerry Maguire. Anyway. Now we are talking about petty crimes and I don't think Madame, la foreigner, knows what jaywalking is.

But I'm French Club secretary! Ohhhh I'm so happy. But you know what is not happy? That Chelsea and Alex are not here today. Get better soon, you little hotties.