"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

9.27.2005

Furry Angry People

Oh my goodness. What a day, what a day. It all began in Bio. I have to say, the general stupidity of the members of that class is quite amusing.

Joe: I live where the water smells like eggs.

Mrs. Mayer: In our lab, which things were carbohydrates?
Pat: Spaghetti!
Whole Class: Pat... there wasn't any spaghetti in the lab.

Anyway. During history, I got to be scorekeeper. Jacob was quite agitated, and also late.

Jacob: Well, see, I have 5A Bio, and I just strolled into room 218 and sat innocently in my desk and waited for Mrs. Mayer and the rest of my lovely classmates... and then I was all alone in there for a while, and I realized: Oh my god. It's fourth hour.

What a kid, what a kid. However, that is not as amusing as Joe trying to invent answers.

Joe: Well... um. The Declaration of the Independence affected the social contract because.... uhhhhhh... [long pause] Wait-- what were they called again?
Anna, deeply frustrating, yanking on her hair: OHMYGOD. Joe, if you don't know the answer, don't raise your hand.
Joe: They were the same thing.
Anna: NO! No, they were NOT.

Mrs. Campbell, looking directly at Joe: You guys can't just raise your hand and invent an answer, hoping some random thing you'll say will be right. That's just stupid.
(Joe has no idea we're talking about him.)

Anyway. We did impressions of Baptists, Mark cheated, and my team said they'd fail miserably without me and they did. But I don't care. I get candy anyway!

Theology was pretty entertaining. We talked about fanatical people, i.e., Frater Tim. Haha.

Mr. Brounstein, about Packers fans: I don't understand you guys. You sit out in the cold, freezing your butts off, dressed up as cheese.

That was probably one of the truer things I've heard all day. I love my English class, even sans Chels.

Stary, mocking fat lazy Americans: I want a burger, sillll voussss plate, dammit!

Me: Conjunction junction.
Molly: What's your function!?!!

French was, as usual, completely enjoyable. First we made Madame say crazy words like stork and four, because, after all, she is foreign.

Madame: These two guys were married... not to each other, mind you.

Madame: Who's this guy with the hairy face?
Maggie: Um, that's called a beard.

This comment sparked a large discussion about body hair and the furry man-and-baby picture.

Madame: No, there was this picture that has a hairy man and a hairy baby... (we laugh.) No, seirously. They had fur, like a dog. This was not just the facial hair your moms-- I mean, dads have.

Brianna, on Toulouse-Lautrec: HE HAD SHORT LEGS.

Brianna, laughing really hard: That wasn't funny!

Madame: You got a portrait, right?
Sammi: Yeah... and then I sat on it.

We also passed around Mike's baby picture of him looking totally battered. Which was amusing in a really sad way. He actually fell off the high chair... haha.

Madame: Please do not call me G-Money.
Me: Can we call you G-Unit?
Madame: No... that makes me sound like some kind of tank. Like I weigh 350 pounds or something.

After French, Good Joe told Pencil Case and I a story about giving blood.

Good Joe: The lady finally comes and she's like, "Oh, you have such good big veins!" but then she's, like, digging the needle in me for about ten minutes, and finally she yells, "PAAAM! PAAAAAAM! Can you come help me?!"