"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Scary People Following Us, Midget Towns, And Other Tales of the Hot Date at Barnes and Noble

Tonight I had a hot date with Maggie at Barnes and Noble, as the title implies, because, really, who else is hot enough to be my hot date? Haha. Anyway. The original purpose of this so-called date that wasn't really a date was to check out Cafe Boy. Who wasn't there. But Maggie and I were quickly perked up by hot cocoa, or, in my case, Fiji water, which truly tastes the same as regular water.

First, there was the scary man who looked like a child molester and was following us. Which was very, very creepy. Finally he left.

Me: Creepy Man was very creepy. Hence the name Creepy Man.

Then Maggie randomly checked out at 9:45 even though we were getting picked up at 10:45. She felt all stupid when she realized her mistake, so we went and sat in the chairs for an hour and talked about random things, such as the play, public bathrooms, and next year.

Then it was 10:45, and we waited by the doors for Emily to pick us up. This was crazy because Maggie randomly started reading a book called Weird Wisconsin and reading passages from it about some creepy town we have never heard of where midgets beat you to death with baseball bats and maul teenagers making out in cars. It was quite funny. Then Emily came and picked us up, and we laughed at dirty names. Well, mostly Emily laughed. Then she apologized for laughing. Somewhere in there, I talked about the Hodag, or as I prefer to call it, the Hobag, which Emily and Maggie had never heard of. But Maggie was still preoccupied with the midgets, as she often is.


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