"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

5.31.2005

I wanna be the house that you were raised in, the only place where you feel safe.

So, exams are over, and all my grades are in. Some happier than others, but that is how it goes. Summer so far has been play practice... and more play practice. Le sigh.

Today, actually, I went over to Betty's after practice. Very fun time. We were hungry but there was no popcorn, so we went and asked Betty's mom for money so we could run to Osco Drug. She gave us five dollars in quarters, so we went and bought popcorn and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Then we came home and watched MSNBC.

Anchor Lady: What is wrong with people?!!?!
Betty: I'm guessing that wasn't in her script.

After a long discussion about Deep Throat and Watergate, which Betty knew approximately zero things about (good god), we decided to go tan. We slathered on the sunscreens for our respective delicate complexions and went and sat in the sun.

Me: I'm going to get fried like a fritter.
Betty: What's a fritter?
Me: Apple fritters.

We borrowed Little Buddy's CD player and Betty was convinced it would explode in the sun, so she kept moving this little table thing that may have been a stepstool or an ottoman around so that the stereo would have shade and not explode. Yeah. Oh, and we talked about how we are going to use my extreme talent for talking to adults and being their friends next year... never mind.

Then my favorite little buddy, Little Buddy came home! Oh, she is my favorite for reasons like this:

[Little Buddy accidentally unplugs her Game Cube controller.]
Betty: Little Buddy! That's bad for the controller!
Little Buddy: It's bad for YOUR FACE!

Yes. That is totally why she is the best seventh-grader this side of the Mississippi, or any river, for that matter.

Then I returned home to a message from Chelsea! Excitement. We talked on the phone for 84 minutes of insanity, and Chelsea had this blonde moment:

Me: We have to know our state capitals for history next year, apparently.
Chels: Oh, like, Wisconsin, WI?
Me: No... Chels... like, Madison, Wisconsin.
Chels: Oh, yeah...
[Long silence, after which we crack up.]

Pretty sure anything any of us ever do at play practice is flirt and be hit upon. Well, actually, we just sit around and listen to Squirrel make innuendoes, but... still. It is a fun time, with Tom ripping his pants and Sarah "leaving her husband."

5.28.2005

Scary People Following Us, Midget Towns, And Other Tales of the Hot Date at Barnes and Noble

Tonight I had a hot date with Maggie at Barnes and Noble, as the title implies, because, really, who else is hot enough to be my hot date? Haha. Anyway. The original purpose of this so-called date that wasn't really a date was to check out Cafe Boy. Who wasn't there. But Maggie and I were quickly perked up by hot cocoa, or, in my case, Fiji water, which truly tastes the same as regular water.

First, there was the scary man who looked like a child molester and was following us. Which was very, very creepy. Finally he left.

Me: Creepy Man was very creepy. Hence the name Creepy Man.

Then Maggie randomly checked out at 9:45 even though we were getting picked up at 10:45. She felt all stupid when she realized her mistake, so we went and sat in the chairs for an hour and talked about random things, such as the play, public bathrooms, and next year.

Then it was 10:45, and we waited by the doors for Emily to pick us up. This was crazy because Maggie randomly started reading a book called Weird Wisconsin and reading passages from it about some creepy town we have never heard of where midgets beat you to death with baseball bats and maul teenagers making out in cars. It was quite funny. Then Emily came and picked us up, and we laughed at dirty names. Well, mostly Emily laughed. Then she apologized for laughing. Somewhere in there, I talked about the Hodag, or as I prefer to call it, the Hobag, which Emily and Maggie had never heard of. But Maggie was still preoccupied with the midgets, as she often is.

5.27.2005

Luke and Layla

Note to self: Sitting next to Charlie is in no way whatsoever condusive to movie viewing. See, a large quantity of us play folk went and saw Star Wars. I ended up sitting next to Charlie, who I am quite certain has ADD, but is the funniest kid ever. Here are some notable things he said:

"CINDERELLA MAN! That's funny. [laughs.]"

"There are TWO babies. Luke and Layla!"

"Haha! He's crying!"

"Haha! She's crying!"

"OOH. Big bubble!"

"What the heck?"

"I think the people in front of us are mad."

"[Blows into the straw of his drink and makes bubbles.]"

Yes. I cannot imagine why they are possibly worried about getting kicked out of hotels with him on the Eurotrip.

So, over the course of the movie, Spazzy G gasped more than I thought was humanly possible, Maggie said something about ovaries, Charlie and I laughed at every line of bad dialogue, and we decided, based upon my small stature, that I am Yoda. Thanks, guys.

Le sigh. Guess what? I am a sophomore. And it's summer. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, honeys.

Pencil Case, I'm going to miss you crazy much while you're in Colorado!

5.26.2005

Derogatory Things Written on Windows

I came to school early-ish today to get some studying in for the lovely exams of Algebra 2 and Introduction to Chemistry and Physics. Well, I go to the Commons in hopes of meeting Maggie, and Girly Sweater is immediately there, telling me that dirty things have been written on the Commons ceiling windows about Brooker. So, I get there, and indeed, dirty things had been written. I am not going to repeat what they were, first off, because you never know if children or the elderly happen to read these things, and second of all, because it is a ridiculously immature insult. Maggie had better ideas about things to write up there, anyway.

Anyway, much funnier than the actual act of vandalism were people's reactions to it.

Me: Betty, look up.
Betty: I'm not going to! You're playing a prank on me!
Me: You are such a cynic. Would you just look up? There are derogatory things written about Brooker up there.
Betty: Yeah, right...
Me: Would you just look up?!?!
(Betty does and has the funniest facial expression ever.)

Yes. So, today was ICP and math exams, and those were not so happy. Oh, well. Art was okay, except that I had to draw a human being, also known as Pencil Case. Le sigh. So, I'm ready for school to be done.

5.25.2005

Finals, Day One

Oh, goodness. Today, I would have to say that I thoroughly kicked the butts of both my finals. Fun. Tomorrow is another story, but today was actually fun.

It began in French. Despite my grand total of zero minutes of studying outside of class, I finished the exam in seventeen minutes and got 100%. Being linguistically gifted is fun. I got to spend the rest of the class doing book count for Madame and running down to the office to hang out with my office folk... actually to explain to the office folk that Madame has no idea what she should do about book count because she seems to have thrown out her book count from the beginning of the year... but that is the same thing in different words, really. So Pencil Case and I took book count, and then Madame and I said our farewells, which was depressing, and I somehow got enlisted to help her set up her room at the end of the summer. Le sigh... Russians... what are you going to do about them?

Next we had seventh hour, study hall. We all had to report to the Commons or Library, and I went to the Commons. Bad idea. Toe Touches was there, ensuring that all of us would not use our iPods or CD players. What? Very frustrating. So I taught myself about the Latin American Revolutions in case we had that essay for history, which was a good idea. Also, Mr. Blaney told me a large saga about the vending machine eating his dollar... okay then.

The history exam was fun, because it was maps and essays. Now, if I learnt one thing from middle school history (there were actually a lot of things we learned, but this is a figure of speech, my dears), it is maps. And essays plus history equals love. Shawn and I got to draw the numbers for the essays. He drew the evil Latin American Revolution question, which I did very well on, and I drew the fun one about why the US and the USSR hated each other before the Cold War, in which I showed paralyzing sarcasm. Final history exam grade: 98%.

Tomorrow will not be so happy... ICP, then Algebra II, then art... but whatever.

Play practice was the usual. It involved Logan's violent tendencies, Squirrel and Maggie flirting, Stary making fun of us all, the chairs in the auditorium eating my legs as bystanders laugh, attempting to memorize ICP laws and realizing that I don't actually have to, but only after giving myself a headache about them. You know where someone is not watching you in a creepy way, but rather just observing you? That is funny.

Oh, and I would like to mention that T. Lee yelled my name during the fraction final from the hallway, then sang the "Sesame Street" song after Mike closed the door, a very large occurance which sent me into manic giggles.

Well, I'm off to memorize some physics equations, and probably eat my own head out of frustration.

5.24.2005

Idget The Midget

Formal announcement to the lunch table: If you really, really must call me Idget the Midget, you have my permission to do so.

Le sigh. Today is our last day of actual school for the year, and I am both sad and happy.

French was fun. Maggie and I made a date, Pencil Case could not remember his own actions, and then we asked Madame stupid questions.

Me: Who is [next year's theology teacher]? What does he look like?
Madame: Well, he wears tan pants. [Demonstrates a pants waist.]
Me: Oh, thank you. You really narrowed that down.

Pencil Case: Did you ever turn someone in to the Secret Police?
Madame: Considering that I was about five when they were still around, no.

Sigh. I am going to miss this class very much. Actually, I will probably just miss our crazy antics.

English and Poppa G will also be amply missed. Romeo and Juliet was pretty much our best unit the whole year, so at least we ended on a good note. And not Call of the Wild.

Betty: Now, since you will be with her, you have to report any obvious things she says, okay?
Me: Yes, because she's obviously a moron and will just say, "Oh, yes, my lover always says, 'Life is like a box of chocolates!'"

Betty: You look short. Idget the Midget.

Erik: Have you ever been in the men's bathroom?
Me: Well, what do you think the answer to that is? I am not a tranny.
Erik: Okay. I'm guessing no. [Tells me a story of all the funny things written on the walls.]

Somewhere between English and ICP, I got kidnapped and had a conversation in the office with Erik and Elise about calling people who aren't our parents "Mom" and "Dad." Very funny.

ICP, realized how smart it is that I made a vocab list for every chapter. Thank you, studying skills.

Theology involved crazy antics from me. And by crazy antics, I mean "forgetting my Bible." You see, I am a forgetful person and did not bring my Bible to class. So Toe Touches gives me fake detention after school, but then I remember that school starts again on August 26, and so, for that fact, he takes my fake detention away. Oh goodness.

August 26, the day my sophomore schedule and I will be bonded together in perfect harmony. Well, after first hour study hall, at least. It is very nice. I get everything crappy out of the way in the morning, but have a really good class (history) fourth hour to break up the badness, and then I have a beautiful and easy afternoon. Yummy.

Algebra was the fraction final and, needless to say, no one will miss that class too much. No more quadratic formula songs, no more random yellings-at, no more monikered markers... thank goodness.

Art was basically Pencil Case and I having one of the funniest conversations of my life. Although I do believe I was again called a man... No, wait, this time it was a boy. Oh, and my self portrait, aside from the freakishly pointy chin, resembles me in absolutely no way.

50 people test, I am going to kick your butt.

Chelsea, in comment form: Oh, and I have Bio B first hour, which is just nucking futs. I don't want to dissect some little nasty at 8 in the morning.

5.23.2005

Schedule, My Pretties

Oh goodness. My schedule for next year is brilliance times a million. Seriously. It is so full of goodness that I just want to frame it and put it up on my wall and admire it all the time.

Today has actually been not too interesting apart from that. During French, we wrote sentences and none of us could remember our vocab. Paul behaved stupidly and, on that front, nothing else was new. We also got our schedules, which was fun.

English was fun. I love Romeo and Juliet due mostly to the humorously toneless readings of our class. Very funny. Oh, and I saw Betty's schedule, not so much of the pretties, but if anyone can survive it, it's her. ICP was a quiz that felt really easy, which probably means it was really very hard. But yay for ray diagrams anyway. Theology, I think we talked about annulment and divorce and whatnot, but don't quote me on that one, buddies.

Lunch was fun stuff. I corrected exams and told Madame about why the first floor hallway smelled like cigarette smoke (some brilliant person put a lit cigarette in the Jesus statue's mouth.) There was some screaming insanity from Maggie at lunch about ray diagrams and other such craziness which I am quite certain that the whole cafeteria heard. It was a very long scream and it involved head banging. All this over convex and concave lenses, yes.

Math was review. And Art was crazy. Pencil Case, Chelsey and I sat next to each other, along with Matt, and then Becky and Allison until those two got tired of us and left. Which basically means that we did approximately nothing. This is mostly because Pencil Case decides to mess up my drawing and make me laugh, then blames Chelsey as Matt asks if someone could please slap him. He also told me about his schedule change, which means that we have Bio B, French, and Comp Lit/Study Hall together. Fun stuff. Then he drew a picture of Whoopi Goldberg on the back of my self-portrait.

Pencil Case: Well, Paul was saying, "This is the difference between me and Ethan. I am straight-gay. Ethan is gay-gay. It is like having a purple llama and a llama llama. One is really a llama, the other is just purple and pretending to be."

Yes. If there were actually words of wisdom to be had from Paul, those would be it.

Oh, and let us just take a moment to say that I totally figured out the mystery of Dana/Zach/Deirdre/Paul/Mary Alice/Angela/Mike about three episodes of Desperate Housewives ago? And I so did. La Mere can confirm this. It was when we were coloring my hair in front of the telly one night.

And the finale of Grey's Anatomy? So good. Although I really wanted to jump into the TV and hurt Patrick Dempsey. Just not his very attractive face. But, you know, enough to make him feel bad about what he'd done. There is probably some nice little explanation that will wrap everything up, though.

5.21.2005

Graduation

Graduation was very long and very fun and very painful for the tootsies all at once.

First, we picked Pencil Case up very early and ended up very, very early for graduation mass. Also, Pencil Case, the old beard guy mountain man with the TV show is, I think, Grizzly Adams. Before all this, there was an incident entitled "Kellie Getting Ready", which involved me making my hair cute and flippy, but then my head got attacked with cheap hairspray ("That hairspray is awful. It's like helmet head." -La Mere, after I tell her about the incident) and so I had to brush out all my hair flippies.

Graduation mass was not as long as expected, but still fairly boring. Well, except that it wouldn't be a mass without watching people flirt and Pencil Case thinking that one of our catholic religious leaders, this time the bishop, was a Jew.

Pencil Case: Oh, is he a Jew? He looks like a Jew. I mean, he's wearing a yarmulke.
Maggie and I: Pencil Case, that's the bishop.
[The bishop starts singing.]
Pencil Case: And I thought Barbra Streisand was the only singing Jew!

Then we had quite some time to kill between mass and the actual commencement. So, what did we do? We ate, of course. And hid Pencil Case's waterbottle. And I talked to Betty and Erik and told them about some things and whatnot before they played "Pomp and Circumstance" 900 times. Oh, and congrats to the band for not passing out after all that totally circular playing. You guys were excellent.

By this point, Maggie and I had clinically dead, very blistered, and dreadfully bloody feet. Yay for women's shoes.

The commencement was very long and really not too interesting. Kathleen and Gina both gave really good speeches, and I had to explain the whole sheet with the faculty and staff's degrees and departments on it to Paul, who was like, "BS? What does that mean?! How can you get a BA in Director of Development? What classes do you take for that?" I took about a bazillion pictures, which I will drop off to get developed today.

Afterward, Maggie and I had a mild breakdown of happiness about the newfound concept of air circulation and ability to breathe and then we went to Barnes and Noble with La Mere. While we were there, we ate dinner (at nine at night), checked out the guy working at Starbucks, Maggie made up very obvious code names, and then she was shocked by how loud I listen to music.

Afterward, La Mere and I went home and tried to watch Ocean's Twelve but fell asleep so decided to turn the movie off. And that was my loverly Friday night. Today, for the record, I am going to go buy belts, which the lunch table had better appreciate. Oh, and I am holding out for a very fun late-night chat with Betty again.

5.20.2005

We Heart Jaile. No, Not Like Prison.

Oh, Betty. You are my funniest. I promise that Jaile will be in my purse tonight. Maybe even in shiny silver gift wrap. But probably not.

Today before school, I went to go drop my stuff off in the French room, where they were watching Thumbtanic and enjoying it greatly. Well, everyone but Madame and I, who thought we could feel our IQs dropping. Seriously. Who thinks to make a movie with thumbs? Anyway, after watching Pirates of the Caribbean, getting yelled at, and vulgar comments from Paul, French class was over.

In English, we read more Romeo and Juliet and there was more Poppa G being wise and funny. ICP involved more ray diagrams (good god) and theology was... I forgot.

You know what is funny about people? They can remember totally random things from their childhood, totally unimportant things, as vividly as possible. Yet they can't remember what they did two hours ago or where they put their shows, and sometimes, people remember the important things, but they're a little fuzzy, not fully there.

Lunch was fun. Lots and lots of sugar, and mockery of hand gestures (mine, and someone else's) from Erik. Oh, and a brilliant semi-fictional idea for a novel was conceived. I also made Betty a very pretty locker sign and Erik lectured me on which of my shoes look the best on me, after which I enlightened him on the punching.

Math was pretty boring. ABC talked about how she was a loser in high school and referred to the Goths at her school as "black-haired wannabes." Art was fairly boring but at least it was short.

Graduation tonight with Pencil Case! Very exciting.

5.19.2005

"Oh, you can keep it!"

Today has been okay, in a very long sort of way. Can I just say that I am eternally grateful that NDA is not a block-scheduled school?

During math, we had a very easy test and ABC made fun of the announcements and added things of her own to them, such as, "All spring athletes, please return your jerseys the day after your season ends or we will beat you to a bloody pulp."

Art, we had a very long part one of our final exam. Which carries no finality whatsoever, because it is only part one, and so we don't even have the comfort of being fully done with the class. Pencil Case left his pencil on the table, an as we were leaving, this conversation took place:
Jenny: Pencil Case! You left your pencil here.
Pencil Case: Oh, well.... you can keep it! [Runs out of the room with me and our uber-humorous senior issues of The Tritonian.)

Lunch involved Erik and I walking around thanks to my craving for exercise, and me having to tell him things three times in a row, and pretty flowery pens and free candy. Delicious. Anyway. It is now time to study for a so-called history test about things that happened 4 years ago so that I don't get a 95 and have Mr. Blaney yell at me.

Pretty much, yeah. God knows how important memorizing those terrorist groups are, and only knowing 95 percent of them? Blasphemy! (Mountain Dew cannot possibly be good for me.)

Maggie, I just realized we have to know the name of the Unabomber for the test. Really. Please say you were also tempted to put, "Bondage, on the bus ride from Madison after State, therefore causing Maggie to fall on the floor of the bus four times." Or maybe that's just me.

So, I actually got 104 on my test, hence no yellings-at from Mr. Blaney. Good stuff. Then wasted the rest of class, which was about 70 minutes, by wandering, writing in my notebook, and being generally a loser. Awesome.

Play practice was fun, mainly for the benefit of singing "Happy Birthday" to T. Lee approximately 8000 times, and Tom doing impressions of every teacher in the school side stage.

"Someone wrote a dirty word on the Pillsbury Doughboy... well, I don't know if I can tell you... I don't think we can use it for popcorn reading anymore... it's too dirty. Okay. Someone wrote... pppppoooooooop... on the Pillsbury Doughboy. I tried to wash it, but it wouldn't come off... I guess the Doughboy wanted pooooooop to stay."

Cut to Maggie and I almost wetting ourselves. You might have had to be there. Basically, this was triggered by Tom's decision that he was going to perform most of the teacher quotes from the Tritonian.

I also ran around after school for long periods of time, dancing. This led to Mr. Blaney and Mr. Brooker laughing at me. Then again, according to Pencil Case, Brooker walked into a bathroom door, and you know what they say about stones and glass houses. Just kidding.

Also, at the grocery store, my mom trusted me with a cart and then made fun of me repeatedly.
La Mere: Be careful. Don't run into the old man, Kellie. (I lose my focus and narrowly miss the old man.) KELLIE! I told you to be careful! Gosh! (Goes on a random spree of quoting Napoleon Dynamite and then giggles maniacally.)

5.18.2005

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason.

The past few days have been a lot. We are going to go on with the play in honor of Emily and Missy. It is going to be hard, and very, very straining on all of us, but Senora G talked to their father today, and before she even told him our decision, he said, "Please don't say you stopped." Which felt good; it kind of convinced me that this was the right thing, because who knows better what a child would have wanted than their parents? But still, have you ever known you were doing the right thing but wondered if you were actually strong enough to do it? That was what I, and I'm guessing a lot of the cast, felt like today. But we're all a lot closer, we're all there for each other, and that makes it feel like it's really what is right, if there is a "right" thing.

Senior exams has caused much havoc on schedules. 75-minute classes! We had first through fourth hour today, which means that basically tomorrow will suck. French class was Kayleigh's last day, sadness. She still managed to get Pencil Case in a lot of trouble with Madame. For talking. And, of course, Madame yelled at him while he wasn't even talking and then decided that I was going to beat him up, all out of absolutely nowhere. We also did a million exercises.

English was fun. We're doing Romeo and Juliet, and Poppa G is just so funny about everything. He is just such a wise, adorable old man, very funny.

ICP was also fun because Adult Hermione made fun of the kids in her study hall for the first part of class.

"He is always throwing around that tennis ball. Just to make me mad. It's very passive-aggressive, and I can understand doing that in the fourth grade, but he is, what, sixteen? So I took it away. And he wrote 'I love Suzanne' on there, so I'm keeping it for blackmail."

"He always whistles, too. He won't stop. And I should really give him a break, because he just learned how to whistle this year. This year! That kid you always hear whistling in the hall is probably KR. He's seventeen, and he's proud of himself for finally learning how to whistle."

76 minutes of theology, though, was very long and arduous. As Senora G said, "Well, you were all probably closer to God... or just closer to wanting to get out of that room and really having to pee." Then she talked about how her kids never listen to her when she tells them they can't go to the bathroom at the moment and how they threaten to pee on the floor and how she says, "Yeah, you do that. And then we'll all laugh at you." Senora G makes my day.

Play practice was, surprisingly, more fun than we'd expected. I hung out with Liz and Vicky for a while looking at Liz's senior scrapbook. Tom and I walked around and talked a lot and discovered that tomorrow was T. Lee's birthday, which he was hoping we'd never find out, so we continually sang "Happy Birthday" to him. Then Tom and I compared teachers and classes along with Big Ben and Liz. And then it was time for me to go onstage. And it wasn't weird or awkward and Maggie is doing a brilliant job of taking over for Emily. She's not doing an impersonation of Emily or anything, and you just know she's not doing this to get a bigger part or because she wants to look good. There's no air of that. And we're all really thankful to Maggie for taking on this role, more than we could ever express.

Well. My macaroni and cheese is ready and I have a history test to study for about things that happened less than four years ago.

5.17.2005

This whole thing has already been explained on a lot of peoples' blogs, yes. And I don't think I'm going to explain what happened because, for me, putting it into words makes everything real.

Missy and Emily, you are very loved and very missed. You were always smiling and positive, and you have showed us so many things.

So, yes. Things have been tough. But thank you to everyone who has just been there, for me or for anyone else. Thank you to the entire staff, for just being there, all calm and reasonable, for the rest of us. The important thing to have is someone who can just be there with you, and I have had more than I can count and been there for many people, too. I've hugged more people than I talk to on a daily basis, some I thought I would never talk to again. A lot of apologies were made, and a lot of people had the strength to tell the people who they love that they love them. We have all learned a lot of things, and, in a way, this has been almost good. It brought down walls, it brought people together, it brought us all a little bit closer and it taught us to not sit back and let life go by.

Yesterday was a long day, and it sucked, but there were so many beautiful, kind things happening. Today has been a little less tough, but... the play... I don't know. We will solve that issue when we have to, right? ("When we have to" actually means "in a little over an hour," and I honestly don't think any choice we make is going to feel totally right.)

This is crazy.

5.13.2005

"I don't get it." -Betty

Hi, Mom.

Today began, slightly drizzle-y, in French class, of course. We asked questions in the past tense and watched Pirates of the Caribbean. Paul and Pencil Case were both wearing purple, Paul a very girly one and Pencil Case a very nice, masculine one, and Paul said my skirt made him feel like he was high. Says the boy wearing Easter-egg pastel purple.

We are starting Romeo and Juliet in English soon. Very exciting, mostly because this means that we are done with Call of the Wild. After English we had the Senior Farewell Mass. I was expecting it to be very sad and to cry, but I didn't, because they actually made it somewhat happy. Swing Choir sang "For Good" at the very beginning, which was appropriate and very good. Betty and I did some whispery fashion critique in the weird space after communion where no one is singing or doing anything interesting, which did not matter because our supervisor was deaf.

Me: That man has the worst haircut I've ever seen.
Betty: I don't get it.
Me: There wasn't anything to get.

Then they sang "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore You" or whatever it's called, and Betty and I reminisced about our good times in the first grade when she taught me how to play this song on the piano at her house. Shortly afterward, we probably played one of our psychotic Barbie games that ended in car accidents and many dead dollies.

ICP was the last day of the lab test (yay, and also, finally) and theology was the usual, meaning we bugged Toe Touches to do a toe touch and he wouldn't. We also called the office, as we do at least once a week.

Lunch involved bickering and scattering and so I actually went to the Commons, which involved:
1. Mispronunciations of food by Vicky. "Spag-hetty" and "poh-tah-toes".
2. Community mashed potatoes.
3. A little bit of sugar and Betty being a romantic.
4. Vicky trying to catapult a animal cracker with her spoon and hitting the wall with the cracker.
5. Maggie throwing animal crackers down Polly's shirt.

During math, people stared at a poster and ABC said, "I have three graduations to attend this year. And I have to be sober for all of them."

Art was approximately the same. Afterward, Pencil Case and I randomly sang the theme song of The Addams Family.

Play practice yesterday was very entertaining, mostly due to Logan doing impressions of Steve and Tom and I talking about people with food-brand names.
Tom: I really want to meet someone who has an Uncle Ben and an Aunt Jemima.

Afterward, I watched another highly dramatic episode of The OC like the rest of teenage America. I was glad that they finally killed a character off, rather than just having him or her move to another state, as they often do when it comes time to get rid of characters.

5.12.2005

Yoga Time, Democratic Priveleges, and Other Such Tales

Today in French, we had yoga time. This involved laying on our backs with our legs against the wall. Now, even though I was up this morning at six doing yoga as I do every morning, this was excellent. Apparently it is because all the useless, excess blood in your feet travels to your head and wakes you up. Oh, and Pencil Case fell over.

English, we corrected tests, and ICP, we had a continuation of the lab test, and in theology, we corrected tests. Everything was tests this morning. Well, tests, my chronic lateness, and Madame's fashion tips and critiques:

"Don't dress sleazy."

"He has three shirts on, all with the collars flipped up. Is it because he's cold? Do I get to give him three referrals instead of one?"

Lunch, we had voting for class presidents and I considered cheating the democratic system and voting under Chelsea's name, but did not. Maggie also brought very delicious cookies. Math was tiring and I could have used more yoga time and during art we learned that I have cheekbones and a random scratch on my forehead that happened sometime in the night. Yes. This project is making us all so insecure about the little things.

So, my second roll of film did not come back. I'm very agitated. All my good pictures, apart from the locker ones and Girly Sweater in a sombrero, were on that roll. But, it was either the wrong film for the camera or (cough) put in wrong (and not by me.) Oh, well. It happens. There must be photo karma or somthing, because the Passport picture does not suck.

Oh, I very much hope the person I voted for wins President.

During history, we are going to talk about things that happened not even four years ago. Which is not history, by definition. Oh, well. Also, whoever spent 27 minutes after school on Tuesday reading my blog from a school computer, please tell me. It is kind of freaking me out, considering that the library was closed on Tuesday afternoon. (And, yes, you can thank SiteMeter for my newfound status as Big Brother.)

5.11.2005

Heat Stroke

Kodak, your processing website is very vague. I still have no clear idea of if my pictures are ready to be picked up or not. Speaking of pictures, I'm having my Passport picture taken today. Hopefully I will not look like a psychotic doll as I did in my last one (then again, I was six.)

French is just psychotic. Really, there are not any other words. First we all thought that "prendre un coup du soleil" (to take a hit from the sun, literally) meant to get a sunburn, but instead, it means to get heat stroke. This meant that we said heat stroke in reference to approximately everything, particularly things that have to relevance to heat stroke whatsoever.

"Tu dois mettre le creme solaire."
"Translate, please."
"You have to put on sunscreen."
"Yeah, or you'll get heat stroke."

"Now, let's not all get heat stroke over this."

Then there was Maison d'Etre, our new totally morbid way of remembering our relocation/MR and MRS D VANDERTRAPP words. See, it is a picture of a house and it has all our relocation verbs that describe what you do in a house. Complete with a balcony, with an arrow coming out of it and pointing to the ground, complete with the label "TOMBER (to fall)". Yes, quite morbid.

English involved the longest test you could dream about the stupidest book you can imagine. ICP involved lab tests and theology involved talking about history and historians, and so I actually enjoyed it for once. Maybe because for once it was not all, "Blerg! [spews pea soup over all other religions like the scary girl in The Exorcist.]" Okay, that was a bit dramatic.

Math involved a review worksheet masquerading as a quiz, which of course most of us actually did well on for once. Art involved a lot of realizing more facial flaws, Pencil Case and I making ridiculous faces for the last ten minutes of class, and chastisement for making fun of each other.

Today has actually been pretty dramatic as far as school gossip goes, but none of it is very sordid or dramatic (well, not much on that count), and mainly just concerned with people being stupid, so it isn't really worth detailing here, unfortunately.

5.10.2005

Did You, Now?

Yesterday I went to the band concert to support my peeps. Very funny. Involved lots of dirty jokes from Erik and fun times with Betty and her family, along with Queen Egghead pointedly not speaking to me. Not that I would want to talk to Gladys Kravitz anyway; she isn't a very sparkling conversationalist. Today has been fairly dull. Lab tests for ICP start tomorrow and I am so nervous.

French was the usual. We did chapter eleven vocabulary about summer and winter activities. Maggie decided that there were too many parts to a mountain and that "le debutant/la debutante" must mean a golfer, because debutantes are rich people and rich people golf. Yes.

English, I basically talked to Betty the whole time about things like my dorking out and her mom's Alzheimer's.
Betty: What are you reading?
Me: Oh, just Introduction to Sociology.
Betty: Um... why?
Me: Because it's fascinating! I take notes on it, too, so that I retain the information better.
Betty: Kellie... only you. You know that you could take that as a class, right?
Me: I know. I will probably take it anyway. It is just that I have to wait too long and I'm not very patient.
Betty: Oh, God. You are such a dork.

ICP, lab test stuff and talk of exams. Exams... fun stuff... just kidding. During Theology, Toe Touches was in a very bad mood and then let people recite the Nicene Creed to escape detention for being tardy, except that none of them knew it.

Lunch consisted of being crazy, introducing Erik to important people, hunting down signatures with Betty, voting, talking maniacally about my love of the democratic process, and fixing the filing cabinet, which appeared to have exploded with things such as catalogues and the school phone listing from 2002. Which is kind of like my basement vomitting up all its infamous expired Diet Pepsi.

During Art, we watched a video with a crazy lady with big hair. She said crazy things.
Crazy Lady: Well, first I did her husband...
Me, dirty: Did you, now?

Pencil Case: I think Valley Girl Voice should draw herself with big mall hair.

Anyway, this involved realizing a great many random things about my face. First of all, it is mostly forehead, nose, and chin, or at least my profile is. My mouth is crooked and my eyelashes are short. My neck is long and very skinny. And I think I may have accidentally flirted with someone. Oh, God.

Yesterday in Art, Pencil Case and Pam had a very funny discussion about gay people in Colorado.
Pencil Case: Manitou Springs is, like, the gay capital of Colorado.
Pam: There are gay people everywhere, Pencil Case. They are taking over the world.
Pencil Case: Yeah, but not as much as they were in 2003...

Today I think I might accidentally-on purpose miss my bus and have La Mere pick me up at 5:30 so I can do my homework in the Commons, where I think better. Really, I love snuggling up at a lunch table with Poddly, Introduction to Sociology, and Mountain Dew from the vending machine.

Yesterday, Entertainment Weekly and New York Magazine came in the mail. Oh em eff gee. Cut to me dying of a magazine-induced seizure.

Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are married. That was out of absolutely nowhere.

And Jennifer Garner is pregnant. Well. They aren't even married yet. Living in sin, are we? Just kidding. I could care less about their life.

Everyone is so tall. Well, relatively speaking.

5.09.2005

Biting my Nails

Today has been okay. I am worried.

In French, we had French Frye come as a guest speaker. Well, first, Pencil Case said "amen" at the end of the Pledge of Allegiance.
Madame: You just totally killed the separation of church and state.

We were also supposed to have questions ready, but I did not. Therefore, I was somehow elected first to ask a question.
Madame: Kellie, you get to ask a question because we kind of chose you to go first.
Me: It was not "we", it was you, and it was not "kind of", you did. I don't have a question right now, can you get back to me on that?
(Of course, she never did.)

The rest of the day was pretty dull. Poppa G was greatly amused by my notice of the word "bashful" (long story) and the ICP and theology tests that I hadn't studied for were okay. Lunch was the usual with me drawing really not straight lines and Maggie and I eating Twix, and I'm actually thinking I understand what happened in math even though it involved Greek letters and ABC not talking.

Art... self-portraits... blergh. I have such small features. And my mouth is crooked. Or it might just look that way because I only have one dimple. Anyway. This assignment basically just brings all our facial flaws to light, doesn't it?

Me, during history, bleeding: I'm bleeding. May I please go to the Attendance Office and get a bandage?
Mr. Blaney: You don't need a bandage. Just let me lick that.
Me, scared: Um, no, that's okay! I'm going to go get a bandage! [Runs away to Attendance Office to get heckled by Trent.]

5.06.2005

Champagne Supernova

Today I am not going to be negative and I will talk only about things I love. So, I love having new favorite songs. Anyway.

Let's see... today was De La Baie Fest. Very fun. Dunk Tank was a success. Had totally random conversations with people and was elected official photographer. This means that I took pictures of:
1. Pencil Case trying to pose sexy.
2. Frau trying to pose sexy with Madame shouting that no one should ever see this picture ever.
3. People flirting.
4. Random Dunk Tank stuff I was told to take pictures of.
5. Cute boys.
6. Random things.
7. Erik wanting me to not take his picture.

Madame: So, you took 18 pictures and you have 24 on the roll. So how many do you have left?
Me, stupidly: Four.
Madame: No, Kellie. Six. Six pictures left.
Me: I told you I was mathematically retarded!

Also today, I salsaed with Elizabeth and later Brooker thought I was meditating, which was amusing. Then I told him the link to this blog, which he thinks he will never remember. We shall see.

I love having code words for things because it is fun to randomly go up to your peeps and say, "Oh, Peep, I have something to tell you later. It involves sugar, you know, in the lounge." However, when Erik points and loudly shouts, "OH MY GOD SUGAR IN THE LOUNGE!", that is not quite as fun. Because people start to stare. Not that they aren't to begin with.

Also, I love Reeses' peanut butter cup ice cream sandwich things that are pretty much the only thing I ate all day except for a chocolate chip cookie. Yes to healthy eating. Just kidding.

And I love talking on the phone with my Chelsea, who I miss so much.

I am trying to think of what happened in actual school today. During theology I read my sociology book, because I think I might be in love with that, too. During French we watched Pirates of the Caribbean and Abigail brought a most delicious, very sugary birthday treat.

5.05.2005

Performance Evaluations? Sugar for the Lounge? Noooooo.

Last night was pretty much the most fun I've had in my life. I'm going to make a very cryptic list of humorous things so that the people who were there can have a good laugh.

1. Betty: Maybe she's getting her performance evaluation...
2. Sugar for the lounge.
3. "Are you married?" "Nooooooo. [with dismissive hand gesture.]"
4. Boys on bikes.
5. Singing Spice Girls songs on the corner.
6. Maggie wheezes.
7. Fitting into lockers.
8. Mrs. Brown giving Betty and I Starbursts to make posters.
9. Playing frisbee.
10. Walking to the gas station.
11. Zen rock garden.
12. Laying on the blanket.
13. "Shut the oven!"
14. Erik: You look old.
15. Calling Chels until Betty's cell phone died.
16. Making code words.

Yes, that is my very cryptic list. You just never know who reads these things, do you?

Today, in which we get to dress up in red, white, and blue, has been not nearly as eventful as last night. I don't know what would be. French test was very, very easy, math test, not so much.

Madame: You're very meticular. Meticulous. Particular.

During English, we finally finished my least favorite book ever, Call of the Wild. Next we are going to read Romeo and Juliet, which I actually enjoy. ICP, study groups and whatnot. Theology, asked lots of questions to waste time.

Lunch was the usual event, except with ice cream.

Me: That person is very tall.
Erik: No, I think she is a nice height.
Me: Erik. We need to stop making veiled insults about my height.

Math, very hard test. Art, self portraits, blech. Study hall, I am braving my real study hall again, so we will see how this goes. I have history next hour, sans Chelsea, which makes me sad. Get better for tomorrow, my dearest darlingest Chelseaest Chelsea.

5.04.2005

Tu es un clown.

Today in French, we went down to the lab. This involved Madame saying random nice things to me, Paul calling everything he didn't like "ghetto", and Pencil Case being afraid of urban legends.

Paul: What are we going to do at the Ice Caves?
Maggie: I don't know, look at them? Just don't lick the walls.

Pencil Case: Great. Now I am afraid of cockroach eggs in my envelope glue, or rat urine in my Coke.

During English, Poppa G called Betty by her last name. Very funny. Then in ICP, Adult Hermione made fun of my sneezes, which was also amusing. She sneezed and I said, "bless you", and she replied, quite wittily, "My sneezes don't have anything on Kellie's, though."

Kid: Why won't you do a toe touch?
Toe Touches: Well... because I am fat, old, and decrepit.

The rest of the day has been very dull, except for when Pencil Case and I wrote a note back in forth in his sketchbook during art, and Artsie Tartsie freaked out at him for not having a sketchbook. Also, I had to demonstrate to the class where the neck is, because, you know, they don't know.

During the assembly today, Betty and I were so bored that we started doing commentary. And it involved teachers standing.
Me: They are all standing. It is so annoying.
Betty: I know! They are all fighting the urge to sit. Or to sleep. I mean, look at her. She looks like she is practically asleep, leaning against the wall.
Me: Ooh, ABC went down. Or I just can't see her.
Betty: Well, Mr. B-Squared is already sitting down.
Me: Oh, ABC is up again. Never mind.
This went on until Betty nearly fell asleep herself.

I would like to take this moment to annouce that Bubble Billions makes ba-billions of bubbles. Ahhh, childhood advertisements.

Betty and I are just going to bum around at school until the concert starts tonight, and then we're going to go to the concert. Yum. I am very excited.
Betty: We don't have any meat, though.
Me, sarcastically: Well, we can always walk somewhere and pick up a big ol' package of ground chuck.
Betty: Shut up.

5.03.2005

[Expletive Deleted]

So, today is Twin Day, and I am tripletting it up with Caitlin and Betty. Good stuff. We had to make T-shirts because none of us have clothing that is actually the same, and they say "I <3 Pink." Now, personally, I wanted them to say "I <3 Bagels" but was informed that the rest of the world does not share my extremist affinity for Jew pastries.

Anyway, during French, we made a Cingular commercial. Very funny. Abigail and I were obviously the short bars, and Paul was the tall bar. The rest of the morning was very, very boring until lunch. See, that crazy Madame went to Student Services to look at my schedule. Except we somehow miscommunicated and she just looked at my study hall (because, if it lines up right, I will get to hang out in her room instead of having to go to study hall) and my fourth hour class, rather than actually looking at the whole schedule.

Apparently I have study hall first hour first semester (oh God) and eighth hour second semester (which would align right.) I have history during fourth hour, the other appropriate study hall time and she could also recall that I have second-hour math.

Second hour math. What in God's name is wrong with this world?! Then she suggested that I switch my history class for my study halls. Which made no sense. First of all, I would have two different history classes each semester, which they probably wouldn't even let me do. Second of all, fourth hour is a good time for history. It's the middle of the day, I can appropriately focus. Seriously, though, she couldn't even remember what hour I had French.

Anyway, so due to my deep state of confusion, she e-mailed Student Services so that I could go look at my schedule during study hall to clear up the confusion. Except that they wouldn't let me because apparently they do not have study halls or lunches in for next year's sophomores. Well, evidently, they do if Madame got to look at it! Jesus. It is kind of process of elimination, anyway, isn't it? Anyway, they went on to say that they did not get the e-mail. Augh. Frustration. They were all, "Come back later in the week!" and I was all, "God. Just check your e-mails or just show me my incomplete schedule."

Other than that, today was pretty boring. I have just wowed my study hall with my typing capabilities. Pencil Case was a twin of his kick-ass Lamb Chop puppet, Jesse.

During history, when I was having some fun wandering time because I finished my stupid outline about Gorbechev and his birthmark (haha... Betty... Cranium...) and ran into Blumreich.
Blumreich: Who's here?
Me: I am.
Blumreich: No, you're not. Don't be silly.

Now Pencil Case is making fun of the contents of my French binder.

5.02.2005

Heather. I mean, Hannah. I mean, Hayley.

Yes. Fun weekend. Pencil Case is the funniest person ever, as is the ancient collection of Diet Pepsi in my basement. Oh, yes, "Super Bowl 35 party cans" rock the house.

Today has been pretty boring. Before school, Betty and I were making shirts in the Commons, which involved lots of puffy paint. I love puffy paint. As a child, I once ate puffy paint. Anyway.

Then it was off to French. Madame was making up stories that were supposed to help us understand negatives in the past tense. First, the helping verb and the past participle were acquaintances, and then they were suddenly married but having affairs.

Me: What?! How can they be having affairs if they are just acquaintances?
Madame: Oh, be quiet. It used to be a prom story, so just be grateful.

Paul: Maggie is lustful!
[Pencil Case and I almost die laughing.]

English, more Call of the Wild. Talked a lot about Alaska and how different it is. Then it was off to ICP, which was fairly uninteresting. Theology, I forgot about my test but still did well, because all but one question was true/false.

Also during theology, I wrote a note to Betty. I was talking about social institutions, the AGIL paradigm, and how ridiculous Marx's ideas were, which totally confused her. Whatever. This is what I do while I watch Desperate Housewives, I half-watch and read smart-people books at the same time so I don't feel totally stupid. Betty gave me this survey where you find out if your mindset is similar to 98% of the population or to 2%. I was a 2%-er, go figure.

Math, boring, but we had a sub and so it didn't matter that I didn't do my gigantic assignment. During Art, we played 20 Questions, which was more like 20 Clues, except that it was totally demented.

Artsie Tartsie: "I am known for my humor and practicality."
Weird Kid: Artsie Tartsie!
[The answer was Benjamin Franklin.]

Gidget: So, wait, these are, like, real people?

Artsie Tartie: "I am known only by my first name."
Patrick: Madonna?
Artsie Tartsie: Nope. "I am known for my sexy dresses."
Weird Kid: Um... Princess Diana?
[The answer was Cher.]

Artsie Tartsie: "I can be French or Russian."
Me: Revolution?
Pencil Case: Madame!
[The answer was bread.]