"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

3.14.2005

Make Yourself Useful

Paul: Well, Maggie's all like, "I'm bisexual"!
Me: She didn't say that. She said she had a crush on a bisexual cartoon character.
Maggie: I never said that (ABC starts to walk into the room) I'm bisexual! (Maggie realizes that ABC heard nothing but "I'm bisexual.") Oh, crap! I didn't mean that!

Poppa G: What would you put down for something that's sacrilegious?
Chelsea: I put down Jesus Action Figures.

Me, to Gross Canoodling Couple: Leave a little room for Jesus!

Rather boring Monday with a lot of the usual. 100 on French quiz, 65 on ICP quiz, humiliating myself, the usual. Pencil Case told me a funny story about Spanish punks and their "boot verbs" and G-Dawg was our art sub. I am losing my voice; I sound like that woman from that smoking commercial a few years back because phlegm is a bitch.

Most Americans don't know the words to the national anthem, how sad is that? I'm sure that a large percent of the Canadians know "O Canada". However, I still don't know anything but the first line of Notre Dame's little ditty that we were supposed to get sheets of at the game.

I should probably tell the hat story. I can't remember where I read it, but it made Chelsea laugh very hard. Anyway, this old guy is looking through his ancient luggage and he sees something that looks like a cookie. He takes a bite and realizes it is a felt hat he used to have. But it tasted good, so he ate the rest of it anyway. The End.

Yesterday my father was trying to take advantage of my half-voice to talk me into putting Elmo, my childhood stuffed animal, into one of those stupid acrylic Beanie Baby boxes and putting it on display.
Das Vater: Seriously, Kellinka, when the Pope dies, they put him in a really nice see-through box for everyone to see.
Me: They did that with Lenin, too, Dad. Scary Dead Lenin in a Box.

Stupid honors banquet tonight. Uggggh. Apparently it is three to four hours of watching people shake hands and then waiting for the stupid chocolate fountain. I am going to bring a camera, for blackmail purposes or in case anything amusing comes about, because I am cool like that. Plus, I told G-Dawg I would take a picture of her if she came, even though she is not coming because she doesn't see a point in three hours of hand-shaking. Smart lady. Hopefully I'll sit by someone worth talking to and there will be good food and people I hate will wear mockable and hideous clothing. I am shallow.

European toilet paper + Maggie + Wheat Thin = hilarious.

Me: Was that a goose sculpture?
Maggie, after laughing at me because it is only some weird metal thing: Why would there be a goose sculpture in the middle of a cow pen, Kellinka?

1 Comments:

Blogger Yulia babbled mindlessly...

I think even I know the national anthem and I've lived here less than three years.

The hat story was very hilarious! And, for the record, European toilet paper is not so bad. You are just pampered because you get direct from the paper mill toilet paper.

4:23 PM

 

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