"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Fanged Hitler

Oh ho ho yesterday. It was a half day so Betty and I went to visit our old peeps at SMS. Wow, teachers are so much nicer when it's no longer their job to educate you and they've passed you on to the next level. Potato and Ursula both asked about my writing and Ms. K was just stressed about the seventh grade play, which has gone downhill rather like our seventh-grade play.

Then we ventured off to La Casa la Betty or however you'd say it. Betty's family is pretty much the highlight of, oh, my life. First we played snowboarding games on GameCube that I was not half bad at and then Little Buddy, Betty's sister and my favorite kid in the world, came home from school. We were all extraordinarily wound up. Betty was singing (much to the dismay of the rest of us), so I played with an egg from the fridge. Then Little Buddy and I decorated it for Easter for Betty. It said, "Betty's Easter Egg" with lots of gel pen flowers. I hope it gets rotten and that Betty breaks it, because that is just the sort of thing she would do. Then we almost killed the house and my tailbone with the big red exercise ball.

The point of the title was yesterday's history class. Clair got to be Hitler, so Chelsea and I taught her Hitler in sign language. Then she went up to the board and drew this hilarious fanged caricature of Hitler saying "Hitler" in sign language that I wish I could have taken a picture of. Also, Mr. Blaney lectured her on the proper way to draw a comb-over and threatened to keep us at school late so he wouldn't have to go to the meeting.

Happy Birthday to Poppa G! He is eighty today, and probably healthier than I am. Brigid brought very delicious brownies.

Then we went to church. Not fun at all. I had a migraine coming on and nearly passed out every time I stood up. Also, Chelsea was stowing away various things in her sweater that were really, really entertaining. At the sign of peace, we went to talk to Madame, who also looked like she was going to pass out, which is the joy of sitting in the back where there's no air but everyone else's recycled bad-smelling stuff.

Me: Are you feeling okay?
Madame: Hmmm... yeah, although (kidding slightly) you probably don't want to shake my hand.
Me: Thanks, now that I've already shaken your hand.
Madame: Well, it's not like I was going, *coughs and extends hand*.

In ICP we had the lab, which I messed up approximately eighty-six times. It took us at least five tries to light our stupid Bunsen burner, or, more appropriately, it took us until Adult Hermione came over and lit it herself. Also while we were trying to light the match, Lab Partner hit a beaker and knocked it over, which is when it broke. Oh, yes. Then we sat in our desks and talked about celebrity couples, including Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen.

Random Person: But they broke up while she was pregnant.
(This is all Adult Hermione hears:)
Me: Well, maybe he cheated. If I was pregnant and my husband cheated on me, I'd divorce him! Adult Hermione: (Laughing really hard.) That was the most random thing I've ever heard. Where did that even come from?!

Also, Jackie told me random and hilarious stories about her little sister's screaming bloody murder at lunch, and Betty and I went on a rampage. Not really. We went to my locker, but then she wouldn't bend her leg until I threatened to bend it for her. Bwah-ha-ha! Oh, and she walked into me because she didn't know I was going to stop walking. Good job, Betty.

Yes, that was pretty much my day. Random things and germs, which is every day in the life of Kellinka.


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