"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

12.06.2004

Spice Girls! OMG OMG!

Chelsey is right, we really should doubt Pencil Case's status as a boy, what with his Spice Girls obsession "back in the 3rd grade" (although he does own the Spice World DVD...) Just kididng, Pencil Case.

So, yes, Madame now thinks my family is completely Ukrainian. We're not, but okay. Sometimes I get tired of being German and the 80 dozen other things I am, anyway, so I'll just go along with that. Or, you know, if she asks, I'll just bring up how Pencil Case is stalking her. (He's not. Well, to the best of my knowledge.)

I think there are as many Christmas trees in this school as there are in my house. But these are tall and festive, and do not involve Das Vater being the Holiday Nazi and La Mere generally not caring. That's right, this year, my mother is devoid of holiday cheer, unless it involves alcohol and cookies. This might be because, as I said, my father is the Holiday (and Protein) Nazi.

Today I realized that I need to stop being worked up about what people think of me. I was never, ever like this at SMS, but that may have been because I knew everyone so well by middle school and I generally trusted what they said about me or, in the case of Taywhore and Holicia, ignored it completely. But, really, I need to not care when people call me a "dumb bitch", because I know I'm not dumb, and the right people know I'm not dumb. And I am only a bitch when the circumstances call for it. Basically, the people who matter generally won't say those types of things about people they don't even know, and, therefore, the opinions of people who say those things aren't valid and they don't matter and they're just doing it from their own insecurity to lower the self esteems of others.

Sometimes I feel way too much like Tina Fey's character in Mean Girls for my own good, and this is why I've started to surround myself with the people who do matter, Betty Jean and Van Chelsing and Angie and Maggie and Pencil Case. And I've started to realize that it's okay to be able to talk to adults about anything, from getting lost anywhere, or caring what people think, and I'm really lucky to have adults-- like La Mere, and Madame, and Senora G-Dawg, and Stary-- who are smart and who listen to what I have to say. So, thank you to all of you. I've decided I'm not going to focus on the negative things and people in my life anymore, and instead I'm going to surround myself with and be grateful for the positive.

Wow, I went from extremely upset to extremely optimistic. I swear I'm not bipolar! I promise.

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