"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


"Don't touch your faces!"

Good times at the SMS Christmas program last night. Not even joking. I sat next to Mr. B, and we talked about why I like NDA, his breakdancing, and if I still remember all the sign language to "Silent Night". See, it is a grand SMS tradition that all the students go up onstage and sing "Silent Night" in sign language, once with words, and once without. I reminisced about when we would do the sign for "sleep" and the teachers would all say, "Don't touch your faces!" Betty Jean and I visited Ms. K, who is such a nice lady, and all the now-8th graders. Then we went to the auditorium-- I mean, multi purpose center, and talked about how weird her Spanish class is and how Erik doesn't know his drugs. Also, my parents are catty bitches about other peoples' children, which is hilarious. My brother made a whole choir go flat, Johnnie still has hilarious facial expressions, and funniest small-child dancing ever. Ah, yes, good times. Or maybe that was just the endorphins, since I came straight from dance.

We watched Home Alone in French today. Madame gets so into it. "How could you forget a child?!" "That's how we're flying to Europe. Frau and I are going to be in first-class, and all the kids are going to be in coach." When Pencil Case and I visited her during lunch, she was reading this poem in French that we didn't understand a word of. Then she explained, "It's about two clams from the ocean who go to the funeral of a dead leaf." Lovely. Since this is my little French paragraph, I'd like to mention that I am for sure doing Jesus Shaves for forensics, which thrills me to pieces.

Me: Where the hell is my family?
Betty Jean: Well, part of it is over there.
Me: Oh, good, they probably came in about eight cars, just to kill a bit more of the ozone layer.

(The heat is turned up very high. I make my scarf into a noose and pull it tight.)
Me: Maybe I should make myself just a little bit warmer so I can burn to death!

Adult Hermione, handing back quizzes: Aaaand... Kellinka (that is genuinely the name I put on my quiz)!
Me: Oh, god.
Adult Hermione, laughing: You know, I've been waiting all week to say that.


Blogger Kate babbled mindlessly...

"Jesus Shaves" is profoundly hilarious.

http://www.kilbot.net/mp3/easter.php (David Sedaris reading it live--very awesome.)

"He call his self Jesus and then he die one day on two morsels of lumber."

"He weared of himself the long hair."

And oh so many more.

9:20 AM

Blogger Kellinka babbled mindlessly...

Oooooh, thank you. I love Jesus Shaves, it's just hilarious. My favorite line is "He nice, the Jesus."

12:32 PM


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