"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."

11.27.2004

Nuts and Bolts: An Epic

So, I promised Pencil Case I would tell this story. Basically, one of the few benefits of using AOL is that you have lots of buddy icons and sounds to choose from. Well, I changed mine, and he demanded that I change it back, which took me about ten minutes because I forgot what I had before. It was quite the saga, and of course he demanded that I post about it.

Hey, somehow I have managed not to bust out my Home for the Holidays DVD yet this weekend. I think perhaps I might have had a good-dysfunctional Thanksgiving instead of a bad-dysfunctional one. This is probably because I was dealing with my mother's side of the family, and the annoying members of her family tend to be: a) old and b) incapable of driving after dark, so they left about three hours after the festivities began, leaving the rest of us to pig out on leftover-seconds for several hours more. Plus, they are all deaf and tend to heap together during discussion time, so we can just sit and watch VH1 and quietly mock them. (They were talking about shoes, but not in a good way. In a "Jean, you need new shoes." "I know, I have to go to Shoe Carnival this week." way.)

Hey, Van Chelsing, do you remember our discussion about the Boxcar Children? Well, my aunt is production manager on a play version of the first book. It is very cool. She got to cast the parts and all that jazz. Then she told me that I remind her of the oldest brother, basically because I am a charismatic nerd. Yeah. I'm so loved.

Anyway, somehow the History Channel gave my mom the giggles for half an hour straight at about 7:30 this morning. Yeah, because prostitutes in Siberia--- no joke, that's what was on the History Channel this morning, and we had to watch, because I oh-so-innocently asked about our ancestors who hailed from Siberia, and then they're all, "Hey! Let's watch the History Channel and learn about drug trafficking in foreign lands! And space stations! Until the moment we all pile into the car!"--- anyway, prostitutes somehow reminded her that she was outside playing with her siblings in the snow after a blizzard as a child. Brenda had a very thick snowsuit on, so thick that she couldn't move, so Brian pushed her into a snowbank and walked away. And this memory, somehow brought on by the History Channel, got her laughing for half an hour. Loudly. That was probably the low point of my Thanksgiving, breakfast with the History Channel. Although it was still fairly hilarious because the narrator would say something terribly dramatic, and there would La Mere be, tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard. (She had a few drinks the night before.)

I ate three bagels again today, what is wrong with me?

2 Comments:

Blogger Elm babbled mindlessly...

Ooh, great weird-things-on-the-History-Channel story:

When we were doing the mock presidential election at school, each side got to make a short commercial to be aired after Channel 1. So we - the Kerry people - had filmed ours, and we were trying to copy it from VW's camera to a video tape using the TV and VCR in the library. And the History Channel was on while we were doing this. Anyway, the taping didn't work (which turned out to be very bad and very stressful, but that's a whole other story), and instead we got the History Channel program that was on at the time. Turned out it was about radiology in medicine and all that jazz. The clip we got on tape included that they manufactured "radioactive athletic supporters for weak sagging men," along with a real nice diagram. It pretty much rocked. And we kept thinking about what it'd be like if they showed the commercial but they started the tape in the wrong place...

6:29 PM

 
Blogger Kellinka babbled mindlessly...

HAHAHA. That is great! The History Channel is just generally entertaining on its own because of their lone pompous narrator guy. But I will never watch it again of my own free will, and if it's ever just on in the background again, I will immediately think of the snowbank incident.

8:49 PM

 

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