"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


"Maybe It's On Backwards."

Okay, Grandma Jackie has a knockoff Britta machine, and the lid is really, really wonky and it, as she says, "doesn't fit." So then Das Vater facetiously suggests that the lid is on backwards, and of course it is.

La Mere: We have lots of September birthdays. September 4th, September 6th, September 8th.
Grandma: Yeah, and November 7th. (No one says anything further; Brenda and I crack up.)

Wow, this is the holidays for me. Knock-off Britta machines, Franz Ferdinand videos, and watching too much TLC. And various news channels. Seriously, I watched about three hours of CNN and CNBC today for no good reason. Usually I turn on CNN for ten minutes for the little blurbs when I can't find the newspaper (read: because Das Vater has already recycled it), but three hours, plus some CNBC special on... somewhere. Oh, lots of history-geek reading, too, and various other things that could represent why I should not be allowed to participate in holiday festivities without caffeine. [i.e., eating three bagels in an hour and, when someone asks me why, stating that it's because the Jews brought bagels over to New York. That didn't even make sense to me. Seriously, I don't eat three pizzas in an hour just because the Italians brought it over, largely because I hate pizza, but I digress. Caffeinelessness makes me rather stupid at times.]

Tonight was actually really hilarious, but if I were to explain it to any of you, it would really not sound very funny. "The onions look like eyes. I decided to hold that observation back until everyone was done eating." and "If you break it, you die." won't be very entertaining to people who weren't at dinner tonight.


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