"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Actual school. Where we don't talk about the rules all day.

I. Love. French. It is my absolute favorite class right now. BB and I have agreed that foreign languages are fun, especially when you have slightly crazy teachers and you get to watch movies. We talked about "reinforcement stickies", and "You can get a thousand of them for a dollar." You had to be there, kind of like when she was threatening to send people to jail if they misbehaved. Also, I somehow managed not to reveal the painfully nonathletic side of myself in gym class today and did minorly good at soccer drills.

Quotes are fun, too. But I can't remember any right now, for I am too hungry. I'll try again after dinner.


[Insert random high school title cliche here. Because it's fun.]

The first day of school is always obscenely dull. You just learn the rules and how to get hall passes, and then they give you ten-pound books to drag home and force your mother to paste paper bags onto. Thank god for the invention of those fabulous cloth covers, that come in only the prettiest colors ever. I am going to like math this year. Our teacher is insane. She threw books at us, and it was the best. I am also really going to like French, because my teacher is also slightly insane, and English, because, well, guess what? Cool teacher. Although not as cool as the one BB and Diana have, who just sat there making fun of people's names during roll call. I will also enjoy gym, since it is basically the Making Fun of Chubby Hour. Quite fun, quite fun, all of it. Although every other class was about as boring as, oh, sin. (Boring as sin. That's an interesting one.)

La Madre invented an expression today: "a swag in the dark." I know, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard too.


"Annie, your head swivels. It's an amazing thing." --Betty Jean's mom

Happy birthday, Diana's mom, even though you took our Diana away.

Sigh. Once tomorrow is over, I'm a Real Freshman. Scary. I am so excited for French and English class, it's not even funny. I'm such a nerd. Oh well. If we finish our weekly work on Thursdays in French, we get to watch movies. And we also get to eat things. And we get to write and read The Great Classics (tm Cool Aunt) in English. Do you understand why I am excited, when my four favorite things to do are write, read, watch movies, and eat?

Anyway, Teh Jess does the best Sophie's Choice voice ever, even better than mine. Except that she is trying to be Romanian when she does it, oh well. I still haven't eaten lunch. We slept over at BB's house, and watched Killing Mr. Griffin, starring the pink Power Ranger, Jen from Dawson's Creek (who was fantastic in The Station Agent), and the guy with the enormous package who hosts Pet Star. Also some really vapid blonde who gets to say really vapid lines. We started to watch The Bad Seed, but it had been a long day, so I fell asleep at the beginning. Then we woke up, ate pancakes, and watched Full House and Seventh Heaven, two shows Franny took much more seriously than the rest of us did. Our football team won by twenty points last night, snaps for them. It was awesome, except for the part where the freshmen had to sing "I'm a Little Teapot" and I was hit in the head with an empty Mountain Dew can.


My Coat.

My gorgeous coat. Except more expensive. And it goes to my knees, 'cuz I'm short. Isn't it lovely? Hate on it and I'll rip off your appendages.

Why don't we have any bread in this godforsaken house?

Actually, we do. It's just all moldy.


Shopping and More of BB's Bad Influences

Two more wallpapers: The unbearably pretentious Scarlett Johannson and the unbearably gorgeous Kate Winslet. Feel free to take them.

In other news today, I bought an obscenely cute coat and I was mauled by a chipmunk. The coat is one of those knockoff-Chanel patterns, in a fairly neutral pink/white/taupe combo, but the style and cut of it is very Grace Kelly. It's long and I love it. And I was not exactly mauled by the chipmunk, it just jumped at me and ran over my poor foot with its little rodent talons. My mother laughed at me.

I have determined that everyone needs to go out and read The Time Traveler's Wife. Sooooo good. I also just informed my father that I borrowed Diana's West Wing DVDs but I have already watched them and returned them so that I did not have to watch it with him. He just says, "What, do you sit there and critique Allison Janney's acting?" since he thinks I am not politically intelligent, which I am not, but I don't believe you have to be to be a Wingnut. And that brought up the question of whether there would be anything to critique, anything bad to say about Ms. Janney. I've decided on "no."

BB is a Bad Influence.

The prettiness of her graphic that she made last night caused me to want to make a pretty background, and I saw these pretty pictures from Vanity Fair, the magazine with the most gorgeous pictures ever. And I thought, gee, I should make a background. So here it is. I'd post it directly, but it would make my sidebar all wonky again. Go check it out, it is ubergorgeous, I think. [The "but right now everything is turning blue" is from Joseph Arthur's "Honey and the Moon", and the font is Futurist Fixed-Width. The "Reese Witherspoon" part is in Paulinho Petra Azul. Both of these fonts are available on Da Font, the coolest font website in the history of computers, the internet, and pretty words.]

::shakes fist::. BB, you are the coolest. Damn you! And your pretty graphics! Hee. I would like to mention that PSP went demented and deleted all my work, and I started over completely from scratch without even making a frustrated noise or pounding on my keyboard. That is how bad you are, Miss Influence. Hee.

I am now reading The Time Traveler's Wife. I'm only 30 pages in and it is quickly becoming one of my favorite books. Also, The Little Book of Bad Taste is my favorite non-Sedaris non-fiction book ever. So gross. I love it.


The Winner Takes it All.

I am so full of Mamma Mia! love right now. I keep listening to the iTunes samples and thinking, CoolAunt, you need to put ubershipping on my copy of the soundtrack or else I shall regress ten years and have to dig out my A*Teens CD. Embarrassing, yes? And it brings up this conversation:

BB and Me, upon finding out that the A*Teens highly catchy repertoire is not original music: What's ABBA?
My Madre, who is too young to remember the 70s: A bunch of Swedish ladies singing.

So, CoolAunt, get me the CD, pleasethanksloveya.

In other news, I hate Svetlana Whorekina so much that I will turn to veiled self-pimpage to get you to see how much. Diana's mom, Fellow Spelling Nazi, is right: she is a bitch. And FSN just calls 'em as she sees 'em.

I miss the old West Wing. I miss, specifically, the "smallpox the dessert topping", wolves-only roadway, Big Block of Cheese Day, Josh is really very sweet episode, aka The Crackpots and these Women. That's my favorite episode ever as a CJ/Josh fan, I've decided. And much thanks to Diana for letting me borrow her fantabulous DVDs.

::sigh:: I don't have anything else to say, but, school is starting too damn fast. And I have first hour French, a truly appalling idea. ::larger sigh::. I am excited for high school (I'm a mutant, and you can shut up), but I don't want summer to end. ::enormous elephantine sigh::.


Beautiful Entities.

Yeah, don't ask me what's up with the title, I couldn't tell you. I think it's a lyric from an Air song. Paul and Morgan Hamm were the cutest little boys ever. If I were one of their little-girl classmates, I'd be all over them like white on rice.

I'm reading Please Don't Kill the Freshman, not necessarily loving it, but liking it quite a bit. I relate to Zoe quite a bit, which frightens me in some ways. I went school shopping today. Very frustrating; I have no patience for department stores. The only part I really enjoy is the people-watching, like this crazy old woman shouting at her child, "DO YOU WANT TO LOSE YOUR PURCHASE ITEM??" Diana, really consider personal shopperdom, okay? Actually, you can be my personal shopper and my agent, and then you can attend the Oscars with me and wear Vera Wang, okay? We both can. Except don't overshadow me and steal all the cute boys.

I think I may be overtired. I need to stop. I haven't been able to find navy blue pants that aren't uberuniform anywhere, and it's cheesing me off (tm Mr. Bandgeek). Remember the good old days, like last year, when everyone carried navy corduroys? Although I did get a frelling adorable pair of khaki cords at the Gap, and lots of really cute oxfords and polos and sweaters. (We have a dress code. If I had it my way, I'd wear yoga pants or jeans, and a T-shirt to school every day.) Target has really cute cardigans in many colors; I bought black and it was the one black thing I bought, so don't chastise me, Miss BB.

Okay. I am stopping before I go brain dead, although you may think I already am. I need a brownie.


And we shall kiss for the good of humanity.

Catetheelf and Patrick O'Brien-Dempsey
  • May one day conceive a pair of demanding kids.
  • Are aspiring to kiss for the good of the free world.
  • Are as one for tax purposes.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Hee! We will kiss for the good of the free world, dammit! I shall see to it that happens.

Gimme, gimme, gimme...

Mamma Mia! was sheer musical genius. I'm seriously considering having it replace Chicago as my all-time favorite musical ever. The woman who played Donna had a brilliant voice and was (thank god) melisma-free, even when she had to hold a note for a very, very long time.

Where are you people? I have a million things to tell you, my little frellers. Like Aunt Crazy calling Grandma Blindy "ole one-eye" and then telling me to "shut down," because Diana is a Bad Influence on her. I learned many important lessons over these two days, like: old people are highly indecisive and they turn their blinkers on about a mile before their turn is.

I took the picture down. Sorry, BB, but it was raping my blog space. I'll IM it to you later if you haven't taken it already.


Cate Tells a Story in Words and Pictures

First of all: Snaps for Paul Hamm!!!

My cousin Spiderman, my aunt Denda, and my grandma Albatross came up to stay with us for a few days this week. It was very fun. Spiderman is a cute little boy:

He loves Spongebob:

He also loves School of Rock and has a "guitar face":

Grandma Albatross, who is sixty years old: You're not old until you're a hundred.
Cate: Yep. You're just a spring chicken until then.
Albatross: Spring chicken. I like that. And then when you turn a hundred, you're just an old duck.
Denda: No! You're an albatross! (Mad cackling from Denda and Cate.)

Last night, I slept on the living room floor and chose not to kennel our dog, Big Rita, so she jumped on me and ran across my torso when she decided it was time to wake up. But she really is a very sweet dog:

(Imagine what I would do without my cheap digital camera. More 'Love is Nothing' up on the fiction blog and I now have a pop culture Greatest Journal with a bazillion free userpics, entertainment news recaps, and reviews: I'm just taking over the internet one blog at a time.)


Good News/Bad News

I'm doing the bad news first, because it's shorter: our family condo on Marco Island, near Ft. Meyers, had no damage (yay, except that it would have been really nice if that palm tree had blown over. Angie, you know the one I speak of), but my mom's boss' family's condo (they were family friends before they were co-workers), on Boca Grande in Port Charlotte didn't survive so well. Basically, the roof is torn off, there is standing water in every room, and they have to strip it down to the concrete walls and start over. They just remodeled a few months ago, and all their interior stuff is screwed. I know it sounds very, very WASPy complaining about this, but think nice thoughts for them, okay? I know, we shouldn't be complaining about our second houses when some people don't have any, but it's still hard, and if you want to tell me that I have no virtues or whatever, feel free to shove it. I'm complaining on behalf of others, at least.

Good news is much longer, thank god. I'm back from my vacation (rafting sucked because the water was too low), Vati bought a TV upon discovering that there was not one in our room in the lodge (as my mother said, in shock, "You bought. A fricking. TV?" and we couldn't even get any channels anyway), and there was a hot tub. Also, the US women's gymnastics team is doing well at the Olympics, so snaps for them (and for Romania, except they need to stop being so good and making me like them.) No snaps for Svetlana WHOREkina, especially not because she possed for Russia's Playboy and is too thin and frightens me. The OC first season DVD set is 20 dollars less at amazon.com, so I'm preordering them the second my mom's credit card is available to me. Snaps for Amazon. And snaps for incoherent, rambly paragraphs, and yay because I get to sit in the indoor club seats at tonight's Packer game, because my dad has a nice boss.

I'm pretty spoiled, at least today, so ubersnaps for that.


Hee!! Names!!

Okay, just a note: I used the first street I could remember, because I've grown up on at least four of them, but I can't remember the first two.

YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU GREW UP ON): Arianna Allouez (pronounced Al-oh-way) (Betty Jean's is the best: Sophie Opengate! BWAH!)



EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Paprika Paris

SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You Were Born): Pooka (embarassingly, a nickname to this date) Salt Lake City

FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): C. Her (classic!)

ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen): Hershey Sprite

DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School): Elmo Notre Dame

BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink): Pretzel Virgin Strawberry Margarita

SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived): Marie Allouez (that's pretty cool. I could be a bitchy French seductress.)

Now y'all better do it so I can laugh at you. But, you know you won't be able to beat Sophie Opengate or C. Her, right?


Nermel, the highlight of my day thus far.

I was on the phone with my good friend Nermel today. Nermel is hilarious, as is her mother, Dr. Sick Genius. I talk on the phone with Nermel a lot, but I do not see her as often as I would like, which is why this is probably the first time she's been mentioned on here.

Nermel: Did Joan Cusack and Jack Black get together at the end of School of Rock?
Me: No. At least I don't think so. That would be painful for Joan.
Nermel: I don't get it.
Me: Go ask your mom then, hon.
(This part is all overheard by Radar Ear Cate:)
Nermel: Hey, Mom, why would it be painful for her?
Dr. Sick Genius: Because it's all fun and games until someone skinny has to sleep with a fat, hairy man!
(Nermel comes back to the phone.)
Nermel: Oh, I get it. She might suffocate or something.
(Insane Cate-cackling.)

Survey, stolen from Angie.

Okay, I'm posting this, and yeah, you're supposed to be honest, but if you say anything mean, I'm in a bad mood and I'm going to chew you out. Just a warning. Basically, answer the questions in comments and be nice or I'll tell you off, okay? As I said, I'm crabby and I'm not in the mood for honesty as long as it's nice. If you need to be mean, leave the damn question blank because I have no patience for that.

Who are you?
Are we friends?
When and how did we meet?
How have I affected you?
What do you think of me?
What's the fondest memory you have of me?
How long do you think we will be friends?
Do you love me?
Do you have a crush on me?
Would you kiss me?
Would you hug me?
Emotionally, what stands out?
Do you wish I was cooler?
Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
Am I lovable?
How long have you known me?
Describe me in one word.
What was your first impression?
Do you still think that way about me now?
What do you think my weakness is?
Do you think I'll get married?
What makes me happy?What makes me sad?
What reminds you of me?
If you could give me anything what would it be?
How well do you know me?
When's the last time you saw me?
Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Do you think I could kill someone?
Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?


Trojan MAN!

Di and I were reading my H-ville essay, and we realized I had forgotten the Trojan man story, which is as hilarious as it sounds, trust me. Di's brother, who is very thin due to his hyperspeed metabolism, decided to play high school football ("Bad idea to begin with." --Di) and the name of his team was, unfortunately, the Trojans. When Di's mom dropped him off for his first practice during freshman year, and as he's walking to the field, still in earshot but not close enough for him to be able to maul Di's madre, Di's madre yells out the window, "There goes my little Trojan man!" And then he just blushed and gave her the finger and a dirty look and kept walking. (It occurs to me that Hville is moderately like Chao Camp for good little teenage girls. Except, you know, with a trampoline.)

Also, go check out the fiction blog for bits of 'Love is Nothing'.

H-ville Recap

I know I haven't posted much lately, but I was gone for the weekend and had to babysit on Monday (for most of the day, but I made money, so whatever), so this is pretty much the first chance I had to post. So I'm recapping the H-Ville trip now with me, BB, Diana/Nana, and Franny B. And we met the infamous Beloved Aunt Cheryl! And we sang "Leavin' on a Jet Plane" in the car, and now I'm forbidden from getting Beloved Aunt Cheryl started on old songs, according to Di.

Franny: Get your feet off my blankets!

Me: Do you think it would be better if BB's head was balls?
(Long pause.)
Diana's Mom: What kind of balls?

Hey it's Franklin: (We're watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie to make fun of it, and right before the "hey now" part of that song she sings at the end, Franklin goes:) Hey now.

Hey it's Franklin: Shhhh, Diana, I want to see the good parts!
Di: You're sleazy.

Di: Hey, Franklin, can I have some money for gum?
Franklin: No! I just put thirty-one dollars on your card, you can use that. Do you have your card?
Di: I love you, Frank.
Franklin: Diana. What are people who give love for money called?
BB and I: Whores!
Di: Give me money, bitch!
Franklin: No, Diana, use your card.
Di: Come on, f*cker! (I am not making this up. And Franklin did not even care.)

Di: I used to think it was Franklin Delanor Roosevelt. Because 'Delano' was so weird.
Me: And Delanor wasn't?

Franklin: (going through the McDonald's drive through) What kinds of pie do you have today?

Di: (After Franklin went back and fixed BB's order, which was right.) No, Frank, she's not okay. She's crying. Because she doesn't have her cheese.


The Gods of Scheduling Hate Me.

Got my schedule at BoringTransitions today. The only good thing about it being that: a) I am a lucky bitch with last-hour study hall, b) I have the same gym and algebra as Diana, c) I have the same lunch as Diana, BB, Frances, and Betty, and d) I have English with Betty. But selection "d" is only partially good, because we're stuck with The English Teacher We Did Not Want. And I might be transferring out, which might sound really snotty and whatever of me and my parents, but the thing is that English is my best subject, and with what I want to do, colleges will look at my English grade more than any other one, and I won't cooperate well with a teacher who sits up there and LECTURES FOR THE WHOLE DAMN CLASS and ALLOWS NO INTERESTING DISCUSSION. (And that's coming from another teacher.) So, yeah, I'm snotty and stuck-up, whatever, I want to write my ass off when I grow up, thank you, shut up, have a nice day. And if I can't, I guess I'm just going to have to work my ass off in order to kick everyone else's.

In case you couldn't tell, my Jane Craig genes have kicked in again. I'm trying to think of something else to say, but I might just have to watch the West Wing DVDs I borrowed from The Princess [Diana] and chill out first.


Choose a band/artist, or, be indecisive like me, and just go with music you like. Answer the following questions using only song titles by above band/artist. I'm ignoring five and six and eleven since I'm very romantically detached, but you can find the full survey over at Angie's.
1. Are you male or female: 'Just a Girl' by No Doubt
2. Describe yourself: 'I Was Meant for the Stage' by the Decemberists
3. How do some people describe you?: 'God Only Knows' by the Beach Boys
4. How do you feel about yourself?: 'I Think I'm Paranoid' by Garbage
5. Where are you?: 'A Place Called Home' by PJ Harvey
6. Where would you rather be?: 'Island in the Sun' by Weezer
7. Describe what you want to be: 'Paperback Writer' by the Beatles (not exactly, but close enough)
8. Describe how you live: 'A Life Less Ordinary' by Ash
9. Share a few words of wisdom: 'Love Will Tear us Apart" by Joy Division

Boring 'Transitions' Shit
Basically, Transitions is like an extended orienteering with long boring speeches by teachers we will not have until eleventh grade. Of course, we are just bursting at the gills with fun. Well, we were when Di fell into gales upon laughter to find out that Betty is a Future Band Geek, but that's about it. Straight A's to get into any good college, of course.

Someone is at the door shilling a religion, so I'm going to go.


"And I love you so, let's watch the flowers grow."

Okay, Blogger was being a stupid bitch (or a vurgx) the past few days. So I'm posting this surveyish thing. Perhaps it is a meme; I don't know, but it looks rather fun.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME: spiders, freakish events of nature (a la tornadoes), Harvey Keitel.

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH: Diana, Betty Jean, and BB. Oh, and Franny and Angie and Roy.

THREE THINGS I LOVE: screenwriting, eating, laughing.

THREE THINGS I HATE: badly made movies, slutty teenage girls, closed-minded people.

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND: my father, the rest of my family, Nickleback.

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK: about a bazillion notebooks, numerous pens, and an empty bottle of vitamin water.

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW: talking to BB and Franny, listening to "It's my Life" by No Doubt, trying to stay awake.

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE: become an employed screenwriter, be rid of my Jane Craig gene, visit Italy.

THREE THINGS I CAN DO: write damn well, draw fairly okay, and talk.

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO: grow extra appendages, re-read "Journey to the Center of the Earth", appreciate Hilary Duff's "acting skills."



THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS: Noodles' Macaroni and Cheese, chocolate in general, foccaccia bread.

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY: vitamin water, coffee, Jolly Good Sour Power soda.

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID: Sesame Street, Guiding Light, Power Rangers.

1. Spell your name backwards: etaC
2. How did you get your name?: middle name is after my mom, first name is the only one my parents could agree upon
3. Are you homosexual?: no.