"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Dear Photobucket: I am sorry about all my nasty comments. Kindly do not die.

Okay, those of you who ganked icons from me (Angie... Franny... myself), the reason they're not working is because Photobucket is going insane. It might be better soon, and, if not, I'm going to hire Robert Shapiro to sue them.

The best part of Camp Nowhere has got to be Tennessee for Tots: "Blay-unch."

Random label that makes me so, so, so happy: Glaceau VitaminWater, the dragon fruit kind, the label says, "We'd also like to inform some of you that dragons are imaginary. That means they don't exist."

We had the picnic today. BB threw things. A lot. And Princess Di spilled water in her crotch. (When we told Mutti this, her response was a really kick-ass pregnant-lady walk. Almost as good as my kick-ass pregnant-lady walk.)

Tiny Dancer

BB, that bitch, now has me frelling addicted to this song. But I haven't succumbed and bought it off iTunes yet. Mainly because I know my mother has the CD somewhere.

Speaking of iTunes, I have another complaint with them: how is Hilary Duff's CD on the Independent 100 list? And William Hung? Yeah, you made up for it by putting Elliott Smith, Eddie Izzard, etc., on there, but Hilary frellin' Duff is Not Happening.

I have discovered the goodness that is LJ Icon Contests. I've signed up for three of them and completed all of my icons for it last night. They're very exciting, these contest icons. (Read: Thank God I discovered the goodness of Arial, size five bold, all-caps.)

I'm re-reading my David Sedaris books, that are actually my mother's, and it occurs to me that Charlotte Beene (alias Sister Mary Robert) (alias Wendy Makkena) would very likely kick ass playing David's-- yes, we're on a first name basis-- mother in the movie version. She's my favorite character, possibly even more favorite than The Rooster! She cracks me up. I have numerous away messages of her quotes, and I haven't even reached Me Talk Pretty One Day. Personal favorites: "That might play back on Mount Olympus, but here, we don't wash our socks in the toilet." from Get Your Ya-Yas Out!, and just about everything she says to David-- first name basis!-- in Chipped Beef. Really, once I get to all the Rooster stories in Me Talk Pretty One Day, it will be very hard to make a decision and, therefore, I just won't. They are both my favorites.

Later today, I just found out that some of the Emma Thompson icons I made will be here. If they're not there when you go at first, check back. This has brought forth a plethoric abundance of odd morning-dreams in which Emma Thompson sees my icons (for whatever reason) and, thus, admits that I am her long-lost daughter. Which would absolutely be the kick-assiest thing ever, but like Hilary Duff being called "independent music", it's Not Happening. But it does give me a lot of opportunities to mention all these bizarre things to Angie, and purport that that's the reason I do such a brilliant British accent.

Chapter Three is up on The Fiction Blog, so go check it out.


A Startling Confession

There is photographic evidence of me drinking tea with my pinkie up. Oh, God.

"Oh, God" was one of the funniest things I heard all day. Not my, "Oh, God," someone else's. Upon realizing that she was the next recipient of the Lamebrain Church Spirit award (completely tarnished by Typhoid Mary, if it wasn't a stupid enough concept), in the middle of Father Harry/Mr. Burns' (he looks just like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, I swear) speech about her, she (sitting in the row behind us) mutters, "Oh, God." It was the best thing ever about today.



I have a new userpic, as you all can see. It's of Julianne Moore, and I made it. I'm not sure why I chose that one, but I figured I should show off one of my icons, and that's one of my favorites.

I made a bunch of icons last night and they'll be on The LJ in a few minutes. Well, as long as LiveJournal quits being slow and asslike.

BB on TV!

BB was on TV, along with the rest of the people that qualified for Nationals. Of course I recognized her first, because: a) it's BB and b) she has an extra-pretty special leo because she kicks more ass than the rest of them. She did very pretty round-off back-handspring back-handspring step-outs (not sure how to hyphenate that). So, after BB, guess what was the second thing I noticed, just by the curve of a spinal cord?


[Insert shrieking and hair-tearing noises here.]

Then it was Mr. Bruce! Shout out to Mr. Bruce!

In non-BB Is Famous news, I think Mary-Kate Olsen is the next Tracey Gold. Except I really like Tracey Gold and hate Mary-Kate. But you get the idea. Both are/were child stars, both are/were anorexic, and both have ADD! Just think about that one the next time you read about Skinny-Bones Olsen.

I've started a fiction blog, Screw the Typist. It's basically the continuing story of the Jones family. It's odd. Go read it.


Well, Finally.

I fixed the cookies. I am way to tired to even try to pretend and/or think I am technologically literate.

Guess what? No, seriously. Guess. Whilst I was gone to Alaska (which was very, very fun because it involved rafting, sea otters, and pyromania by way of Michelle), my parents re-did my whole room!!! They painted it green, and it is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I love it so. I may post pictures of it on the LJ soon if I ever figure out the godforsaken digital camera. Because it's just way too pretty. And very IKEAized, thanks to Mummy's (and Vati's) trip to Chicago. Also products of the trip: Sephora makeup (the Sephora Lip Marker in rasperry, and Nars eyeshadow in Night Fairy), and a copy of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.

I bought Entertainment Weekly's Must List issue. It is, needless to say, a Must. I will talk about that, and my adventures in summer reading, tomorrow when I blog.

But, first, this is what I have to say about Alaska: I now like flying. Whitewater rafting kicks ass and might be my new passion.And quotes:

Attention-Seeker: What's erect-ill die-ess-function?

Kathy: You know, in this family, why can't you just fuck up and not have people think it's premeditated?
Grandma: Yeah, that's what we said. We said, "Yep, she just fucked up."

Michelle (who is male, but had very long hair; he is speaking of the eskimo drawing on Air Alaska jets): The guys behind me, they were arguing over whether the eskimo was a bulldog or Bob Marley.

Grandma: I'm just going to spark on ahead to the bathroom.

Kathy: We told them, "She drools, she snores, she wets the bed."
Grandma: You told them I wets the bed?!?!?


Nervous Pervous

Oh, God. I have twenty-four-and-a-half hours to worry about this, and I have already started. God.

I hate take-offs. They are horrible and stupid and make me unbelievably nervous. I am fine being in the air, although it takes me ten minutes to recover from take-off, and I love landing (except at Chicago O'Hare. Actually, I hate that airport in general. It doesn't do anything to help minimize my stress except sell a lot of magazines. And, alas, where do we leave from? Chicago O'Hare.) It's not that I don't want to go on the trip, it's that I really, really desperately do not want to take-off. I don't know what I'm going to do about this. Usually I am seated next to my mother (who just hates flying in general and insists that the only good part is when they have wine) or my father (who isn't necessarily sympathetic, but he tries very hard to talk me through it.) You know who should sit next to me? John Cusack. Then he can give me Lloyd Dobler's airplane speech, and I will be fine. Perhaps I will just read something as we take off and try to ignore the fact that we are. Does anyone have any methods of take-off combat? Because now is a very, very good time to share them.


Ceramic Grandmothers and Cement.

Two stories I keep forgetting to tell that I'll forget to tell forever after Alaska.

1. "Ceramic Grandma": Diana and Betty Jean's friend from gymnastics has a grandma with two fake knees and a fake hip, or some equally synthetic combination, and said friend calls her her "ceramic grandma," which would be an excellent name for a band. Almost as good as Dental Tart, the name of my band that does not yet exist.

2. Cement: This is better told in conversational format.

(Scene: A hotel room in Madison. DrunkMummy, Vati, Zach, Cate, my grandfather Little Lenny and my uncle Brain are watching TV. Except not really because Vati is channel surfing.)

DrunkMummy: Stop! Cement! (We stop at the cement channel.) I love watching people pour cement.
Me: Oh, God.
DrunkMummy: Seriously! It's therapeutic.
Vati: [Mummy's first name], they're putting dead-people ashes in the cement. To make "living reefs." For people who want to be buried at sea.
Me: Oh, God.
DrunkMummy: I still love cement.

Frustrated. Or Fustrated (if you happen to be my grandmother.)

I hate packing so very, very much. I also hate airplane take-offs. Which is exactly why I have already deemed the next two days to be not much fun at all. Plus, Vati is in a mood.

Franny has a blog. Kindly ignore her flagrant use of my real first name. (Ha. Now you shall have to go and find it. Just still call me Cate, which you can consider my pen name. Not my stage name. That would be Ivy Cooper.)

That was pretty much the longest link ever. Wow. I have nothing to type about, really. Franny's impressions are pretty good, especially the one of Betty Jean (it is honest-to-God 100% true.) Diana needs to come online. Frank, stop making Diana fondle flowers and let her talk to me.

Shut Up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!

The title works best if you say it in Lorraine Bracco's voice, a la Riding in Cars with Boys, the last movie in recent memory that I liked Brittany Murphy in (along with Drop Dea Gorgeous and Clueless.)

I made some Reese Witherspoon icons up on the LJ. They're pretty good, probably the best I've made so far.

Buttface is feeling much better. He can now walk on crutches and has, evidently, been watching a lot of Lord of the Rings.

::sigh::. I leave for Alaska tomorrow night. I shall miss you all dearly. I won't see Franny for almost a month, and this is the longest BB and I have ever been separated.


So, Yeah. That's What Happened.

I have a plethoric abundance of purdy icons of purdy people up at the LJ. I made four sets of them today, and only one set was of customized bases. Good God.

I am enormously entertained by the soap opera recap in our local paper. The funniest is: "'Passions': When Kay refused to kill Charity, Tabitha cast a spell on Kay, turning her into an evil dog that chased Charita off a cliff, as Miguel struggled to save her." Good God! Who writes that show, and where can I send them a very stern letter as to why they should be fired?

Quotes and Icons: Pretty Much My Two Favorite Things

Two new sets of icons, these of Famous People, not necessarily ones I like, are up on the LiveJournal.

Princess Di: Betty has tunnel vision in the shape of a cell phone.

Cate: I wonder if the Pope does have balls.
Princess Di: Well, it's not like he got castrated or something, Cate.

Cate Reviews 'Harry Potter'


  • Take a wild guess at who was my favorite. No, really. For serious. I think we all know that Emma Thompson rocks all of our faces off. And is deeply bizarre. She is my idol.

  • The part of me that not-so-secretely wants to be a director absolutely adores Alfonso Cuaron. (And Christopher Guest. This is why we know I'm a free-spirit, and I don't even have to wear knit hats! ::nod to Angie::

  • Liked

  • Emma Watson (who I loathed in the first two) and Rupert Grint (who I have always liked quite a lot) are becoming much better actors.

  • I really agreed with all the changes that they made from the book, except for the ending.

  • I loved the detail of Lupin liking music. I can't remember if that was a part of the book; I haven't read it in a while, but it was a very nice little detail. (No, I'm not detail-oriented at all.)

  • Just Okay

  • Daniel Radcliffe is not advancing at the same speed his co-stars are as far as acting goes. It's not that he's terrible, it's just that he's not up-to-par, in my opinion. (I really hate to mock child actors unless they're utterly terrible.)

  • Sucky, sucky previews. Or at least we had one that ruined it all for me, A Cinderella Story. And Catwoman, which they could at least try to make look remotely good. I can't even remember the other ones, those just ruined it all. Oh! Wait! We had The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie! How dare I forget! That is in my top-three movies I am looking forward to this year, along with The Incredibles and... okay. Never mind. Can't narrow it down to three. Napoleon Dynamite, Garden State and various others are all tied for third. Whoa. Tangent.

  • Meh

  • I really hated the ending, which was the change I hated that I mentioned above.
  • 6.04.2004

    The Official Graduation Post

    I am a high-schooler, a ninth grader, a freshman, whatever you want to call me. I wore a very pretty black dress and my feet hurt from dancing so much (I've heard that I am a "party animal" and that "I got some moves.") BB and I got to sit next to each other for the dinner, between Larry and Buttface (more about him later), which was quite a bit of fun. Except for the bit with the picture of BB and I dressed up as Teletubbies.

    Anyway. BB is now in Florida and I will not see her for nineteen days. Angie made me the nicest mix CD ever with the nicest liner notes and made me cry. And Buttface dislocated his hipbone and his flexure tendon(s?) and can't move for three weeks. He's big-time knocked out with Vicodin, so Betty Jean and Franny and I are making him a care package. So I'm making him a mix CD of songs that make people feel better and burning him a copy of my School of Rock soundtrack. If anyone has any contributions they would like to make to the mix CD, speak up.

    And, my favorite quote of all of last night:
    Larry: (discussing a picture of Pegasus climbing a rope in a gym) Nice pole dancing.

    We also got these very nice things saying what our teachers and classmates said about us. I feel obliged to post mine here, because it's all very true, so here goes: theatrical, sense of humor, diligent, talkative, excellent writer (I have a feeling that was our language arts teacher), comical, studious work habits, informative, a girl with a mission. Damn straight, yo.

    I can't actually believe that I'm on summer vacation. And that people actually think a good way to solve an issue with another person is to ask me about it over AIM.


    Fun with Party Shuffle

    Oh, I am such a reetah. This morning I have been all about Pixar movies and iTunes Party Shuffle.

    "In Liverpool" by Suzanne Vega is really a very good song. In other musical affairs, I just discovered that Just Roy and I share an affinity for Dave Brubeck.

    Props to BB for pointing out that I am the one who started the blog fad. In her header. And you wonder why Mummy calls BB "her favorite."

    Harry Potter tomorrow night! Graduation tonight!

    We got a digital camera, so I will start posting lots of random pictures of my feet and my dog for no good reason at all. Or pictures of my TV. I took pictures of Cameron Diaz on Ellen just to see if I could without the picture being insane and it worked! It is hilarious and amusing.


    "Do we have to do dreams?"

    I fell asleep in the shower tonight and had the weirdest dream I have ever had. So I am going to share this with you exactly the way it happened in the chat, except to, you know, clarify things a bit.

    Cate:I dreamt that Mrs. ******, our [very pregnant] preschool teacher, died during childbirth.
    Franny: she due june 8
    Cate: and then I had to go to the funeral, and there was an open casket, which was disturbing and morbid.
    Franny: hee. this is going to be funny. well it already is.
    Cate: and then the community of St. Matt's elected me to take her place, but not just as the preschool teacher, as everything that she does (whatever it is that she does.)
    Franny: shes a really weird teacher
    Diana: AHHH [Diana really just supplies random syllables the whole chat.]
    Franny: you mean a mom?
    Cate: (franny b voice)whatever it is that she does, having babies and whatever(/franny b voice). yes!!!!!
    Franny:and be married to her weird hubby
    Cate: and then I had my inititation ceremony, which was like the one in Finding Nemo, except I had to put lots of food on a Chinet plate. and then I woke up, so I never actually had to have babies or deal with anything.

    It was a really odd dream, and I'd just like to say that I am not responsible for things that Franny says or things that happen in my dreams.


    This is the reading I'm supposed to be re-typing for graduation. Except it is written in a foreign language where semicolons are parts of words. I think I shall buy Ursula the Sea Witch a copy of Type to Learn and give it to her at graduation.

    So, instead, I am blogging. Go figure. This is probably the last time I will blog to you all from SMS. And I am not very emotional about it at all. The only things I am really sad about are: leaving Margo, leaving KT, and leaving Annie. And maybe brewskies. That's it, those are the four things I'll be upset about.

    And, once BB gives me the picture to scan, I will post a picture of the Jelly Belly Margaret Thatcher. And I guess I will chop my head off and post some of my graduation dress (or at least the incredibly well-cut back of it). And blackmail pictures of Angie and various other family members. Hee.

    Anyway. I should probably actually type this reading. And there are even more icons up on the LJ.


    Oh, God.

    I am not even going to get into how upset I am with my mother. It isn't worth it. I'll just end up saying four million unnecessary things that nobody needs to know.

    Betty Jean promises to start a blog when her internet is working again (read: when I bother to learn my reflexive/intensive pronouns. I really am a grammar Nazi, just one that hates pronouns.) And BB's blog has a new URL.

    I'm not sure what else to say. Nothing even remotely interesting happened, except for getting yelled at during my last English class by the Potato. (The yelling wasn't unsolicited. I was sticking my tongue out at Franny and making faces at her, which garnered me a "Catherine, very mature." which Larry tortured me with all day. Then I was quoting AKA Confessions--- you don't want to know what that is--- at Betty and we lost it and so I was yelled at again.)