"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Various Random Thoughts

On the LJ, I have posted a bit of the screenplay I'm working on right now. It seemed like a good idea. But don't go diss it. If you have a constructive critcism, please share it, but don't diss it. That's just mean and I'm not in the mood to deal with anyone who would do that.

I bought two pairs of flip-flops for five bucks at Old Navy today. I got hot pink and turquoise. They have just the best flip flops. I had the red ones but I lost them in Chicago. I love flip-flops. I have two (formerly three) pairs of Old Navy ones, a pair of red heeled ones (my favorite shoes), a pair of sequined turquoise ones from Old Navy a few years ago, a denim pair, another very cool beaded Old Navy pair, yet another Old Navy pair that ruined my feet (no wonder they were two dollars), and various other pairs. It is insanity.

I wonder if Betty Jean is ever going to call me like her vater promised she would. I am getting rather impatient.

Link Time

BB now has a blog, and it is pimplicious.

New icons are up at the LiveJournal, and I made these myself.

Franny B. should not be allowed to use AIM before three in the afternoon, seriously.


Cate Reviews 'Raising Helen'

Yes, I have been to the theater again. We were going to do the fireworks at the pier, but it rained, so BB, Betty Jean, Franny, Laurana and I went to see Raising Helen. So here is my review. Hopefully the bulleting won't go insane again.


  • JOAN CUSACK!!! She is just the best and made it totally worth the eight dollars (and the four dollars for a cherry-blue raspberry swirled Icee). She makes every line a million times funnier. "If you so much as blink in her direction, I will bury you so far down that the heat from the Earth's core will incarcerate your sorry ass." is now going in my AIM profile.

  • Liked

  • It really was a very cute movie in general.

  • DEVO HATS!! "WHIP IT"!!!

  • Just Okay

  • Abigail Breslin got really annoying after a few seconds.

  • The movie got a bit preachy, too. And it wasn't all that well-written.

  • Hated

  • Stupid Kate Hudson and her stupid wardrobe of poop brown bathrobes used as shirts. AND UGGS. God, I hate those boots.

  • And, in non-cinematic affairs, we had the morons who work at the theater emptying trash very loudly and jumping over things behind us, and someone made a very random moaning sound, to which BB and I lost our shit to, and Betty Jean didn't even hear it. She thought we were laughing at this really lame line in the movie because we were crying. It was great.

    Cate Reviews 'Shrek 2' and 'Calendar Girls'

    Calendar Girls


  • Helen Mirren was just excellent.

  • The beginning scenes with Chris and Annie laughing their asses off (BB, I thought of you and I during band or some other boring class where we are mainly lectured at) and the Victoria sponge cake.

  • Just about everything else.

  • Just Okay

  • I didn't like how sad it got towards the end. I won't say what happened, but it's more depressing than all the outwardly upsetting stuff, like Annie's husband dying and whatnot.


  • I can't actually think of anything off the top of my head that I hated.

  • Shrek 2


  • Jennifer Saunders and John Cleese were both excellent, as was everyone who is not named "Cameron Diaz."

  • The Pinnochio lying gag

  • The ending.

  • Bringing back a few notes of "Hallelujah," which I only noticed because I was listening for it

  • We had excellent previews again (well, except for Shark Tale, which looks awful and stupid), including... drumroll please... The Incredibles, which I am so incredibly excited for, due to the marvelous presence of one of my idols, Holly Hunter.

  • Just Okay

  • It was unnervingly short.

  • I'm not a huge sequel fanatic.
  • Letters from Cate

    Dear Woman Sitting Behind me at Shrek 2:

    Stop laughing. And stop talking. And stop telling me what happens at the end. You laugh like a donkey. Just stop.

    Cate (Hahahaha. Rhyming is fun.)

    Dear Nice Family Sitting Next to Us at Shrek 2:

    You were very nice! And strikingly well-behaved! Not a talker or a seat kicker in the bunch, and you shared your popcorn! Plus, the mother gave us this comic gem when one of the four little boys said, "Aww, Mom, look at that!" at one of those puppy-mill ads: "Yes, sweet pea, isn't that sad?" (in a very clipped voice. You had to be there, I guess.)


    Dear Princess Diana,

    Get your skinny little ass back from St. Louis.

    Waiting impatiently,


    Franny is a Mean Girl

    Guess what Frances B. just did to me? She deleted me on Monkey Ball! She deleted me! And she knows that I am out to get her.

    Me: She deleted me!
    Jack (slightly bewildered): Well, that wasn't very nice.

    I just thought that you all would like to experience the pain I am experiencing at the moment. Also, Betty Jean and I have decided that Patricia Clarkson is now free to date Patrick O'Brien-Demsey and they can have abnormally pretty children together and disregard age barriers everywhere.

    Hello from Franny B.'s Casa

    I'm at Franny's. So, yes. Jewel has some serious melisma issues on "Hands," my god. I mean, really, is that note jump necessary? No! It is not! And if it is not necessary (read: entirely erroneous), don't do it! God!

    So... yes. Franny's dog has about seven thousand names. Lily, Lucy, Bobo, Sho Sho, Sputnik, Butch, Bill, and Bob, to name a few. Sho Sho is also one of my Franny-induced nicknames. I think this dog is confused on his/her/its gender.

    I have about seventeen people reading over my shoulder and we are listening to "Eye of the Tiger." Which Betty Jean has never heard, or so she just said. This is a very 80s song. That is all I will say at the moment.

    Something just made a large crash. I'm too lazy to (god forbid) turn myself on this chair and see what it was. I will ask when I'm done writing.

    Cate Shows Some Concern for Celebrity Couples

    Oh, god. Bugger, bugger, bugger. I am slightly depressed.

    Patricia Clarkson and Campbell Scott broke up. But "remain good friends." Dammit, I am sad. They were my favorite celebrity couple, and now I have to talk about them in the past tense. I hate past tense. (Here, my brain says: "No wonder you dreamt they were in couples therapy." But it wasn't couples therapy in my dream! Because Angie and I are not a couple that is "on the outs," so to speak. It was BONDING THERAPY or something like that. God.)

    Okay. I'll see y'all(s) in the morning unless I am possessed to post again before I leave this afternoon. Go admire my purdy icons if you haven't already. I am in a bit of a bad mood involving my icons, too, because no one is posting new bases because they all have to work or go to school or whatnot. And I want bases. Good bases. Anyway.


    New LJ Entry

    I posted a bunch of the LiveJournal icons I have made tonight in a new entry. The link is, of course, on the sidebar, so go check it out. Some of them are rather good.

    Also, my link to Just Roy's blog isn't working. Let's try again. And if that doesn't work, the URL is "theoctopusgarden.blogspot.com".

    There. Bases covered. Easy as pie.

    Various Thoughts

    I bought the new PJ Harvey song, "The Letter", off iTunes and it's very good. I am also re-installing AIM for about the third time. I also have advance tickets to the 7:00 showing of Harry Potter the day it comes out so I get to see it before I go to Alaska. (Yes, I'm going to be in Alaska for almost two weeks next month; I might be able to blog and I will when I can.)

    Vati is out for "a dinner thing" tonight, which is Mummy's code word for, "he is out drinking with his co-workers." We got a new garage door today and it looks very nice. And it no longer has windows so I can play tennis against it, which is also a plus. A fact about me you might not have known: I love tennis and ping-pong. And air hockey, for that matter. And I am quite good at all of them. Some days, a lot more than "quite good." I also like foosball but I am prone to making the little men move the "cheater" way so no one likes me. And I love pool. Table games amuse me endlessly.

    This was a very random post. If anyone asks, Fantasia did not win American Idol. Even though Just Roy, who has a pimplicious blog, will claim that she did.


    [Insert Boring Title to Match Boring Day Here]

    Princess Di has joined the workforce, so wish her luck.

    Anyway, here is a brief synopsis of the remotely interesting parts of my day:

    Science- Got to play with dry ice in film canisters and balloons and got to make carbon dioxide bubbles. It was very, very fun, almost better than blowing up hydrogen balloons and making little puffs of fire yesterday.

    Grammar- Listened to the crop dust planes flying overhead. Yes, we got crop dusted. Well, not us, but our nice little suburban community did.

    Music- Music sucks. And we never got to sing "We Are the Champions" like I wanted because we had Mrs. Gibbles (the sub who chastized me for saying "son of a bitch"). Found out that Mrs. Gibbles knew/knows Auntie Silence from high school. She said she went to the girls' catholic high school in our city, so everyone was asking if she knew their moms and whatnot, and I asked if she knew Auntie Silence (largely to tell Angie) and she did. So, that is for Angie.

    Got screamed at over lunch break, courtesy of Roz (sorry, Angie's Roz, if you are reading this, but she sounds exactly like Roz in Monsters, Inc., hence the nickname.) BB and I were not aware that it was indoor recess; then we went in the gym after we had been shunned inside. And apparently we should not have been in there, either. So we ran upstairs and got yelled at for running. Roz is so frightening. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position in a corner and shield my eyes.

    Found out Mummy hadn't ordered yearbooks and got home and yelled at her, so she's managed to get me one.

    That was all rather boring. I should probably have just told the concrete story, which I keep meaning to tell but I keep forgetting. This is not unusual for me.


    It's Been a Hard Day's Night...

    It's stuck in my head. In the immortal words of AB, "Don't ask; I didn't." Except I don't have to ask because I know. But that is not the point.

    I have a skinned knee as a war wound from my victory in Calling All Cars, which I'm not going to even bother to explain. It's a great game, but I'm tired, yo.

    We are discussing the politics of Angie's Real Name and its numerous misprunciations courtesy of Grandpa R.J. (I do not have the talent of mean familial nicknames that Angie does. Okay, best nickname for our bitchy aunt ever: Auntie Silence. This may be genetic. Mummy's best insult for her mom is "The Lame-O.")

    Anyway. I might be back later unless I get sucked into ABC's lame-ass blooper show.


    Negligent Rabbit Parenting Skills

    We have newborn bunnies living in a hole in my mother's phlox. Not baby bunnies, newborns. They don't have fur, they are butt-ugly and my mom was shouting at the mother (she didn't know that she had given birth) since the moment she got home and eventually unleashed our dog on her. And now we have ugly little rabbit babies in a hole in the phlox. And crows are circling for them as their negligent mother has probably had a heart attack after my dog nearly killed her.

    Words of wisdom from my latest e-mail to Diana: "****** just spelled rape "rap," which is wrong on so many phonetic and political levels. ::cough::R. Kelly::cough::." Bwahahahaha.

    And I hope y'all(s) like my new user pic.


    I have been sick with the stomach flu since late Friday night, which is why I haven't been posting. I'm not even going to reward you with details.

    I can't really think of anything interesting to say. I spent my day trying to sleep, eating saltine crackers, and watching trashy pop culture shows on VH1. It was fun.


    iPods rock.

    That is all. I am not going to enthuse any further. Although my iTunes has been possessed and does not show up on my iTunes. Perhaps that is because there is nothing new to add to it.

    Thunderstorms are also very cool, especially when you are home alone.

    Science Teacher: Shhhhhhh! Catherine, shhhhhhhhhhh!
    Me: (not really listening) Oh.

    Yes. I have nothing left to say, really. I think I may get roped into going out to purchase lingerie for my fancy-pants (that was purloined from BB) graduation dress. I have a black dress and black shoes, therefore I'll look like I'm attending a funeral, but I'll look classier then th rest of them, so there! And I'm going to see if the beauty school not-yet-dropouts (nod to Angie's entry about Grease) can give me a nice chignon. (I was desperately pushing for red shoes, but Mummy said that would be too non-traditional or something like that. Because, you know, everyone wears black dresses to graduation.) Needless to say, I love my dress except for its lingerie issues.

    Ben might start a blog! To which I say, Go Ben! I'm sure your blog will be utterly pimplicious!

    iPod, iPod, iPod! Or: Cate is Ecstatic!

    My iPod is "OUT FOR DELIVERY" in my city. (Well, city is a loose term. It is a city, and a well-known one, but I think it just reached 100,000 people, so it still falls under the category of Way Too Small for Cate, much to my mother's chagrin. She doesn't understand why I would go insane living somewhere quiet and laid-back where there are very few people. But anyway.) When I get home from school, where I have just about nothing of interest going on, (oh, well, I have to play Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" and talk about the 80s in history class, but whatever), I will have my shiny, adorable, lime-green iPod mini. I may have to get Hello Photoblogging just so I can get pictures of my pretty iPod in my very strange old-woman hands. (Yes, I have old-woman hands. They are even reaching monkey-paw status. They are very small and very bony. And old people in supermarkets like to argue about whether they're "piano hands" or "poet hands" when I just want to get my godforsaken Macaroni and cheese.)

    I'm full of tangents today, which happens a lot of the time, but mostly when I am ecstatic! Ecstatic is a mighty cool feeling, yo! And Fake Sick and Vati are gone again for the weekend (I love Boy Scouts and their obsessive-compulsive need to camp), so I get to hang out with my mom all weekend, and with my Awesome Godmom on Saturday, perhaps with Angie. I am a bit foggy on the details except that it will be much fun, as always.


    I think I may be bipolar.


    Migraines Suck

    Had a big-time migraine about an hour ago, which is a good thing because I have the worst migraines, thus Vati bought me my comfort foods of a baguette and Swiss Cake Rolls.

    The iPod Shipping Watch: "IN TRANSIT TO" (direct quote) "OAK CREEK, WI," which is a little less than two hours away from where I live. This is uberexciting. I am ungodly impatient.

    I'm off to Google people I know and their crime records.

    Algebra II, Tracking Shipping, Ashley is a Moron, and Other Random Thoughts

    I tested into Algebra II! This is happy news, especially because I don't have to make a schedule change and I might be in the same class as Princess Di. We also discovered that we're taking the same level of English and science. We are nervous for science, because it's very hard, apparently, but very excited for English. I really, really hope I end up with Mrs. Brown, as I have heard nothing but good things about her. And Diana has her. I am ungodly excited for high school. I mean, it's not supposed to be the greatest time of your life, but still, it's a change. I love change.

    I am now obsessed with tracking my iPod shipping. It is currently in transit from Chicago, where it has arrived and been unloaded. Hopefully I will get it around Monday! Yay! Living relatively near to the excellent shipping center of Lancaster, Pennsylvania rocks my face off.

    Ashley is an utter moron. (Again, apologies to the millions of random Ashleys out there. Not a diss on you.) Today we had to clean the tables in homeroom and her notebook and copy of DumbLiteratureNovella (yes, it's a novella, dammit! A historical novella!) were sitting on one so I said, very loudly, "SOMEONE left their math notebook and DumbLiteratureNovella on the table!" and she decided, not realizing that perhaps the math notebook with her name on the cover and the DumbLiteratureNovella with her name on the inside cover, to throw them out! So now they are gone forever at the hands of a maniacally stupid teenage girl who cannot recognize her own name. ::Sigh:: It was very, very amusing. I laughed so hard I cried.


    Cate Analyses Highly Unscientific Quiz Results


    What Quirk From THE OC Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    I didn't cheat, first of all. I cheated on the first few questions trying to get Seth's bizarre hand motions, but then I realized that I'd probably get them by not cheating, so I stopped. Then I realized that this is not so far off from the truth. I mean, think about it: what do I do on the holidays, when I am forced to deal with my family? I hide in my room with Angie and bong on Home for the Holidays and Pieces of April until I am strikingly less depressed. I can be avoidant, and I'm always procrastinating. Never drunk, yet, but I hope I train myself to stay away from the alcohol when I am Of Age. Because then I will have serious holiday benders. As if the alcoholism gene doesn't run in my family, I also have a really stressful one. So, yes, in fact, I am not Seth's spazzy hand gestures, as I had originally hoped and expected, I am Kirsten's holiday bender. Thank you, quizilla.com, for helping me see the light.

    Oh, god. I just typed numerous words about the fact that my quirk is a fictional holiday blender and not jazz hands. Oh, god. It's going to be a long 5-9 days waiting for the iPod, yalls. I may have to rent Miracle and immerse myself in the pretty and the bonus features.

    The Gods of Amazon.com Shipping Answered my Prayers

    YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! I got an email from amazon.com today! My iPod has shipped! I will have it in five to seven days. And I just finished jumping up and down with a very happy face on. It was like Laura Linney in Love Actually, except she has the best dimples ever and mine sort of suck (yes, I actually notice these things. Shut up, you). And she's tall, as opposed to me and my un-tallness. I like Laura Linney quite a lot. She had this thing in that dumb-ass USA Today little magazine thing we get in the Saturday paper where she recorded her going-ons of a day in New York City, plus, she was in The Truman Show, so you just can't deny Laura Linney's coolness.

    I don't know how I got from amazon.com's now marvelous shipping skills to Laura Linney. Perhaps she is the god of amazon.com shipping. The world might never know.


    Stop buying iPod minis so I can have mine, dammit!

    Frell, frell, frell.

    I hate amazon.com. I hate all these mothertruckers who are overbuying iPod minis so that I cannot get mine. I won't get it before my trip to Alaska, and I might not get it until JULY! I ordered on March 29th, you bastards! It is bad enough that I have had to wait this long! Now I will not have it for most of my summer! One more delay and I am going to take my very important business elsewhere.

    Dear Gods of Amazon.com Shipping:
    Ignore those mothertruckers who have orders before mine. MINE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BECAUSE I'M A SELF-CENTERED, WHINY, BITCHY, IMPATIENT TEENAGER!



    This will be my most bizarre, unbelievable, controversial entry thus far, that is all I can promise. I can't necessarily guarantee that you enjoy my retelling of the incident, or my point of view, but, in that case, I'd like to ask you when I ever cared what people think of my opinions.

    Okay, last year's band trip will probably go down in my school's history as the most horrible band trip ever. The hos, who we are going to give the very bland names of Jessica and Ashley (sorry to any Jessicas or Ashleys out there, I wanted to give very, very common names so as not to make identities known), on top of doing other randomly slutty things, were accused of flashing the boys in our class from their window. Also, Franny B., who had NOTHING to do with this, was involved and blamed for, as I previously stated, NOTHING. And it all blew up from there. That's it. Have fun with that one.

    Hey, if you saw the original title, lucky you!

    Today was an eventful day, but not really. I called pears "peaches" for most of my lunch duty and frightened small children, including Frecklie (but it's so fun to be mean to him.)

    Um. Have to clean and eat tonight before Vati gets home.

    I think I may have to go out and buy the DVD of Miracle tomorrow. This is why I am that movie's bitch:
    1. My Sexy Hockey Boyfriend, Patrick O'Brien-Demsey
    2. Patricia Clarkson
    3. Lots of bonus features
    4. Blooper reel! My love of bloopers is inordinate and slightly demeaning. I have a fantasy that I will put out this ungodly serious film and release the DVD with a fifteen-minute blooper reel.
    5. My Sexy Hockey Boyfriend.


    Float On

    "Float On" by Modest Mouse is an excellent song. Also, if you are reading this and watching your telly, turn on Lifetime, as there is an excellently awful movie involving Tracey Gold and Kirsten Cohen playing an ex-stripper. It is, as I said, excellently awful. And I wish someone (i.e., Princess Di) would come online.

    Oh, yes. The trip. The Jelly Belly Factory, etc.

    Okay. Bus ride. Watched The Princess Bride. Discovered that Holicia cannot keep track of a plotline and that "Wuv, twoo wuv" has to be my favorite line of that whole movie. This is when I was introduced to "Float On" by Buttface, who, with the exception of his Neil Young addiction, has excellent musical tastes.

    Then, Jelly Belly Factory, which was just an obscene amount of fun. Angie, I picked up your frelling margarita Jelly Bellies and Hello Kitty isn't letting me check my e-mail. I'd tell you to re-send it to my AOL address, but it hasn't been letting me get e-mail as of late. Try my Yahoo account, that one might still be functioning. Anyway, I had my picture taken by a picture of Margaret Thatcher constructed entirely of jelly beans. We were depressed because we could not take pictures of the Princess Diana one for Princess Di. It was unendingly disheartening. But I raided the gift shop quite well despite that small bout of depression, and the funny paper hats and riding the train helped quite a lot.

    Then, hotel. It was quite a nice hotel. Big pool, played lots of free ping pong and volleyball. Small rooms, though, and insensitive bitchy whores threw a party ("party," a word which usually intones fun, is used loosely, as this "party" was a bunch of wet middle schoolers standing around and watching ESPN and infomercials) and let other people inconsiderately throw other people's things, such as lingerie, on the floor. And, yet, BB and Betty Jean still were not allowed a room change.

    Oh, yes, and also the band competition, which was the point we were there. Jazz band did excellent, won first with a superior (The Best) and a Judges' Choice awards but took home no solo awards (which is depressing, because Emma deserved one for her excellent keyboarding skills). Concert band, which I am a very bad part of, did okay, with an excellent (Still Pretty Good) rating at fourth place. Fifth grade band, which is not a very good band at all (sorry, fifth graders, but you have waaaaaay too many trumpets so then the woodwinds have to play waaaaaaay too loud), took second out of two bands with excellent. Which was a bit saddening because it's our director's last year and we wanted to do better for him.

    Also, Six Flags on Saturday. We did the Roaring Rapids ride twice in a row and were wet and cold and still having an unbelievable amount of fun. Got to participate in a Mardi Gras parade and dubbed ourself the MGMs, Mardi Gras Mamas. Then we became the MGMSs, the Mardi Gras Mama Screamers. Paid way too much for food, except for the food which Jane (Larry's hilarious mom) smuggled in and the funnel cake, which was paid for by another very nice chaperone.

    I know I should have just made this a LiveJournal entry, as it's so long, but also, funny things we said:

    Katie: My sister can make funnel cake.
    Jane: I bet it's really funnel!

    Larry: Hey, Cate, do you have a Teen People or a Seventeen I could borrow? (Cate stares blankly.) I was kidding.
    Cate: I gathered that.

    Ms. Not So Type-A Perfect As I Had Originally Thought: Piss butts!


    Buhbye, Dahhhhhhhhhhlings.

    So long. Farewell. Avederzain (or, for Di, abwidersain). Goodbye. I'll be back Saturday night. Hopefully I'll remain unscarred.

    This blog would have been a really good thing to have this time last year, so I guess I'll just have to tell you what happened last year, because it was rather interesting, when I get back. It will be lot's of fun (that was for Di, too, because the lots own the fun, yo.)



    Cate is a Band Geek!

    Won't be back until Sunday, or late Saturday night, depending on if I feel like blogging or not. Why, do you ask? I have a band trip to attend in Chicago. It will be Lots of Fun. We will go to the Jelly Belly Factory, go to Six Flags, stay at the best hotel ever, and also, get to ride a coach bus down, where Franny B., Betty Jean, BB, and I have absconded the table with my FIRST! PICK! SLIP!

    I am a band geek. Yes, indeed I am.

    And, in more band geekishness, we had a concert today and BB and I were dancing along to the jazz band. There was this bit of a song that sounded like the Pee-Wee Herman dancing song, so I shouted, "tequila!" at exactly the right moment. We frighten small children. We should have our own frellin' variety show, because, really, if Jessica GigantoChin Simpson can have one, BB and I and our GigantoChin's will be so much better than hers. Take that, bitch! Hahahahaha.

    I'm loopy. Tagboard is back. I'm trying to change the colors so the coordinate with the new template. And, admire my pretty picture! I am going to be one of those annoying persons who always changes her picture.


    Cate at Newspaper: May 12, 2004

    Okay. I'm sorry, but I'm still figuring out how to get comments and a tagboard again. It's all rather confusing. If anyone knows how to figure this out, send me an email at Elfythefool@gmail.com. Actually, send me an email anyway.

    I am sitting across from Frecklie again, but BB is not here to accompany me in my mocking. This is sad. Plus, Mummy is in East St. Louis for a few days, for various reasons, mainly being things like frelling hick gang children and their guns. (Hick gang children makes me think of "Sex Gang Children." Oh, don't go there, girlfriend.)

    Franny is purporting stupid things, like child abuse, me being a tattletale, and Betty Jean (formerly Betty) being poor and foodless. Ha ha ha. She makes me laugh so very much. Anyway. I should probably start pretending that I'm doing something productive. Because I'm officially an editor. Or at least Betty Jean and I have elected me as such, since the old bitch of an editor is gone. I'm just fulfilling my duties, yo.



    I. Hate. Algebra. It isn't even funny anymore. I was all happy and revved up because I got a 90 on my chapter test. I'm thinking, Go Cate! You couldn't have done so bad on your graded assignment. Yeah frelling right. Somehow, I managed to do really well (for me) on the test and COMPLETELY FLUNK the graded assignment. I didn't even fail it, I flunked it. Forty. Three. Percent.

    But, you know what, I'm not really sure how I was expected to do well on that. I can raise my hand with a problem all of class and the only person who gets called on is Holicia, and maybe Ms. Perfect. I'm not really sure what is expected of me. So, I go up to Spacey, our math teacher, and say, "Is there any extra credit I can do to bring my grade up? Problems for the book, or a chapter review sheet or something?" Spacey thinks. Drifts off. Maybe attempts another crying spell. I really do not understand Spacey. She is the most outwardly, bizarrely emotional person ever. She randomly cries during class because GASP! The other math class is watching the Sharon Osbourne Show in the library or GASP! BB and Betty and I are talking in class again. Anyway, Spacey finally decides on, "I'll think about it." Think about it! I frelling made the effort to HAVE A DISCUSSION with you! Does she have any idea of the emotional strength that entails?

    Oh, wait. Never mind. She wouldn't. That would require emotional strength.


    Frellity frell frell.

    Okay. Got midterms today, and they suck quite a lot. So don't be surprised if I'm grounded and can't talk on here until I get back from Alaska. I have decided that I hate teachers who grade midterms low so that you're inspired to do better when they can tell that you really don't care. And ones who wait to correct the things you're good at until after midterms. Also, I'm doing moderately okay in math (a B-, which is really, really good for me, but that's probably because I test really well), which is just bizarre. Also, I'm going to be in Madison visiting Mummy's family all weekend, and next weekend I have my band trip, where we will be visiting the aforementioned Jelly Belly Factory, Six Flags Great America, and a hotel, which will take up my Friday and Saturday.

    On a lighter note, here is a dream from last night:
    Angie and I are sitting amongst many people in a circle of chairs in the cafeteria area of a local grade school. We realize that Patricia Clarkson and Campbell Scott are sitting right across from us and we are very excited. Then we are having some sort of therapy game. Then we are magically transported to some vague theatre-lobby sort of thing, with gray carpets and a row of glass doors, and we run into Patricia and Campbell again. We have a very nice discussion. Patricia is very, very outgoing and exuberant and Campbell is rather reserved.

    Talked to Mummy, who is going to talk to Vati about my slightly disappointing language arts grade. I hate the Potato.


    Pudding, Pudding, Pudding

    Now, I am going to confess to you how much of a big-ass nerd I am and my love of the OC. Okay:

    I have the season finale on tape. I would like a moment of silence for my love of Adam Brody and Seth Cohen. Aw. Floating away on his boat. With, presumably, his iPod. While Kirsten, my other favourite kick-ass character, cries, and does so very, very well.

    But: THERESA SUCKS. I FRELLING HATE THERESA AND SHE CAN FIND A HOLE AND DIE IN IT. Diana and I hope she dies during childbirth. Diana and I? Are mean. And we don't care.

    Also, for Betty the Worm: the pubes are coming to get you! (Oh. Don't even ask.)


    What Cate is REALLY Thinking

    Mom: No, you can't wear that to school, you have to wear this shirt, here, I'll give you a shirt, oh, that one won't fit, Catherine, if you don't stop you're going to bed earlier than midnight tonight.... Are you feeling okay?
    Cate (in her head): Jesus Christ, woman, I am feeling fine, there's Midol in the medicine cabinet for you.

    Cate (out loud): Well, we better be back from Mother's day shopping by eight.
    Fake Sick: Why? What do you need at ShopKo?
    Cate: I need to be home in time for the OC season finale, mother trucker, and if you waste any time looking at frelling Yu Gi Oh cards and making me late, I'll kill you. We are shopping for Mother's Day, not Fucking Yu Gi Oh Cards Day.

    Cate at Newspaper: Cinco de Mayo 2004

    This little boy whose name ends unfortunately in -ie just said something about "dog hump" and he's breaking into silent maniacal laughter. I also just found out that I will be visiting the Jelly Belly Factory next weekend, so I'm inordinately happy despite having just attended a religious retreat. Oh, god. Did it suck. I'm trying to think of something funny and witty to say about it, but it's like they were a cult that sucked the snark out of me, only not really, because all day I thought about the Strangers with Candy episode where Jerri gets kidnapped by the crazy cult. (It didn't help that there was a person named Rebecca involved with both ordeals.)

    Then I realized that my mum's very funny friend, who I'm not going to assign an alias, looks like a cross between Amy Sedaris and Amy Poehler and is just as funny as both.

    Frecklie (ha... excellent alias) is going demented. BB and I just got the giggles. Bwahahaha.


    "Suicides in ShopKo"

    At school, checking my SiteMeter. Apparently, someone Googled "Sucides in ShopKo" and found my blog. That is very, very odd and my personal favourite search of all time, even more so than all the naked women and Lesley Ann Machado and "Mike and Sally on Mike and Sally's Super Short Show on the Disney Channel" and "what do parents think of yu-gi-oh?" Yes. Suicides in ShopKo. I'm going to search this and see what else I get. Perhaps it is an obscure book or a stage play or something. Or just really, really odd.


    TV Moms are Funny Stuff.

    Courtesy of TV Tuesday

    1. Who is/was your favorite TV mom?
    Just about every mom on FOX's Sunday night lineup, especially Charlotte Beene, Lois, and Lucille Bluth.

    2. Was she a realistic mother, or more of a TV fantasy type?
    I think they all might be real people exaggerated for comedic purposes, especially Lois.

    3. Which TV mom did you find the most unrealistic?
    Carol. Frelling. Brady. Or Annie Camden.

    ~Bonus~ No disrespect to your dear old mum, but which TV mom did you think it might be neat to have as your own?
    Charlotte Beene rocks my face off. And I think that Kirsten Cohen would also be an excellent mom. (Oh. Shut up, you.)


    Cate Reviews "Mean Girls"

    Okay. Breaking it down:


  • Lacey Chabert, who was absolutely perfect as a prep. The facial expressions, the voice, everything! So excellent. And she wasn't obscenely over-the-top or anything.

  • Tina Fey, and her excellent, excellent writing. I love Tina Fey. Not only is she smart, she also looks really smart. I am not even ashamed to admit that my haircut is very slightly modeled after hers and we have the same sort of glasses (although I got mine before I became addicted to SNL, Weekend Update in particular).

  • The whole story, and the fact that it succeeded at being a comedy-with-a-message, unlike Bruce Sucksmightily.

  • The previews. We had frelling excellent previews, even. First, we had Raising Helen, which Angie and I will be first in line to see in order to make sure our obscene Joan Cusack fandom is made known. The Stepford Wives was next, which looks very funny, although I am not drawn to the movie by anything in particular. Maybe at the Budget. Then it was The Notebook, which had me tearing up a bit in my current overly emotional state. Although Rachel McAdams and Gena Rowlands look nothing alike, not like the freakish resemblence between Jessica Lange and Alison Lohman in Big Fish. But Joan Allen looks excellent as the bitchy mom. And then Shrek 2, which I have no comment on.

  • The well-behaved audience and relatively pleasant theater-going experience.

  • Just Okay

  • Although I prefer Lindsay Lohan to most other teen actresses, I think Cady would have been a really great role to give to a complete unknown who was not part of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

  • Not enough Amy Poehler.

  • The bad.

  • My frelling mother's hyena laugh.
  • Summer Reading, Fool!

    My summer reading list, or what they sent of it, looks rather disappointing. It is either books I am intirely uninterested in, or books I have already read (To Kill a Mockingbird, which I have read numerous times, and The Odyssey, which we did a unit on in seventh-grade history, to name a few). Apparently, I can find 350 more books on the school's website, but I can't. So if anyone has found it, please inform me, because I have to read three books from the list I haven't already read. I haven't found it in the "Library Resouces" section, which is where it should be (we promotte lytericie.)

    Cate is Less Depressed.

    I really hate shopping unless I am depressed. Here are my purchases from the past 24 hours to give you a good idea of how depressed I was: Music from the OC: Mix One (secret confession: Cate likes The OC. She likes the music, the writing, Adam Brody, and Kelly Rowan), a polka-dotted tank top from Gap, a striped tank top from Gap, a three-quarter length light purple mesh hoodie from Gap, a rice paper lantern in the colours of my soon-to-be-painted-anew room, Teach Yourself Screenwriting, and Entertainment Weekly's Summer Movie Preview. Retail therapy is yummy.

    Although I still have no patience for department stores.