"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


Yu-Gi-Oh. That's all. Just Yu-Gi-Oh.

In eight hours, I can swear again. This is, sadly, the highlight of my day.

Mom: [on her cell phone at Target] Do you know what kind of Yu-Gi-Oh cards your brother likes?
Me: Um. [Very long pause.] No, actually.
[Mother proceeds to rattle off about forty bizarre, pretentious names that one can assume is the product of Japanese words being lost in translation. Are Yu-Gi-Oh cards even made in Japan? I don't know.]
Me: I have no clue.

I have convinced my dog that I am the weirdest human being in this house. This morning, I put one of her toys on my lap (I was kneeling the lazy way with my knees on my butt.) Then, I proceeded to wave my arms in the air for no good reason at all. She just looked at me in this hilariously blank way and my mom yelled at me because I'm mean to the dog and I was, apparently, confusing her. But, seriously, if you have a dog that doesn't have fleas (::cough::Betty's dog, Fleabiscuit::cough::), try it. It's worth it all for the blank dog stare.


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