"He'll sit there and go, Dipsy... Po... Dipsy... Po. I honestly don't think he knows colors. Just Teletubbies."


How Cate Made Good On Her Lenten Promise

Walking up the stairs from lunch (why does everything mortifying happen to me after lunch but before afternoon classes begin?), I was beaned in the head with a football that was intended for the hands of Larry-the-Allah-Worshipper, thrown by Pat (another alias for the good of society.) So, of course, I made good on my lenten promise and didn't frighten too many small children my screaming, "YOU BUTTFACE!" Then Pat was frightened and he told Urs-jalon, the crazy multi-subject teacher, that I was "attacking people with my big words." I am not sure on which planet "buttface" is considered a "big word."

And, apparently, I am very necessary as a second-rate hooker in this moronic play. Then I realized that my middle school career has been fueled entirely by absolute crap.


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